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The One With All The Poker
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Ross: Uh, Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.
Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: Hey, guys.
Chandler and Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Monica: Lots of responses.
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...
Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)
Phoebe: Wow!
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just—I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?
Ross: What?
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Ross: Who?
Chandler: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.
Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Ross: We're fine, we're fine.
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Joey: Shut up!
Chandler: We're not—we're not saying anything.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Thank you.
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Ross: Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.'
Chandler: And then he did.
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our games.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Girls: Oh, yeah, right.
Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!
Rachel: Really.
Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Girls: No.
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Guys: No.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Chandler: (teaching) OK, so now we draw cards.
Monica: So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Phoebe: Congratulations!
(Microwave timer goes off. Monica gets up.)
Chandler: OK Phoebs, how many do you want?
Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can't—you can't do...
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)
(Monica comes back to the table with plates of food.)
Monica: Alright, here we go. We've got salmon roulettes and assorted crudites.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...
Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Phoebe: But... I'm ready, so, just deal.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
(Time lapse.)
Monica: (throws down her cards) Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Phoebe: A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying?
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Guys: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.
Ross: Well that's fine with me. Could use the money.
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Ross: (pause)...Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
Joey: (pause)...Yeah?
Ross: I'm not a nice guy.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Ross: Alright boys, let's eat.
Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria?
Ross: You still on that?
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"
Ross: You are way off, pal.
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one time—not any more. I just—I...
(Marcel makes a screeching noise in background.)
Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?
(Marcel puts a CD in the player.)
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OK—if you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where?
Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Monica: Well, what's the job?
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
(Knock on door.)
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?
Rachel: No.
Monica: I don't think so.
Rachel: Why?
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Monica: Really?
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it)
Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down.
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Ross: Alright.
(Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.)
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi!
Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, and—oh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
All: That's great! That's wonderful!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
(The guys all duck under the table.)
Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?
Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should.
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Ross: Alright.
Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, continued from earlier.]
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Joey: What?
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen...
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever.
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there ready for another poker game.]
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, m boy.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
(Ross gets up from the table.)
Monica: Excuse me, where are you going?
Ross: Uh... to the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Ross: I want to go to the bathroom. (exits)
Joey: Alright, well, I'm gonna order a pizza. (gets up)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
Monica: Alright, Cincinnati, no blinds, everybody ante. (deals cards)
Phoebe: (looks at her cards) Yes! (everyone looks at her) .... or no.
(Ross comes back from bathroom.)
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
(Time lapse.)
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's... that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'!
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah. Um... I'm out. (throws in cards)
Rachel: I'm in.
Monica: Me too.
Joey: Me too. Alright, whattaya got.
Ross: Well, you better hop outta the shower, cause... I gotta flush. (lays down cards)
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I think—oh—that one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
(Ross stands up.)
Rachel: And your fly's still open...
(Ross looks down.)
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
(Time lapse.)
Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Phoebe: Monica, in or out?
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Phoebe: Ross?
Ross: Oh, I am very in.
Phoebe: Chandler?
Chandler: Couldn't be more out. (throws in cards)
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: No, not this time. (he folds) So... what'd you have?
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Rachel: No..!
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
(Ross is visibly upset.)
Ross: First of all, I'm not losing...
Rachel: Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. (phone rings)
Ross: Let's not talk about losing. Just deal the...
Rachel: (answering phone) Hel-lo, Rachel Green.
Ross: (mimicking Rachel) Mee mee, mee-mee mee.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, plea—Hello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Monica: Sorry, Rach.
Phoebe: Y'know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff.
Rachel: Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Monica: Alright, check.
Joey: Check.
Ross: I'm in for fifty cents. (throws it in)
Chandler: Call.
Phoebe: I'm in.
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
(Ross thinks it over, finally sits down and picks up his cards.)
Ross: I'm in. (throws in chips)
Rachel: How many you want?
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
Ross: I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. (throws it in)
(The other four look amazed at the large pot.)
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
(Monica gets up, looks in Rachel's purse.)
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Monica: OK, here you go. Good luck.
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)
(Ross looks in his wallet, pulls out two dollars.)
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
(Ross looks at Joey, dumbfounded at his stupidity.)
Chandler: (to Ross): What do you need, what do you need?
Ross: Fifteen.
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Joey: Here, I got five, I got five. (Ross takes the money)
Ross: Thank you.
Chandler: Good luck.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
(Long pause as they both look at each other.)
Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.
(Ross stares at her. Thinks about it. Puts cards on table, face down.)
Ross: You got me.
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Closing Credits
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, all six are playing Pictionary at Monica's apartment. Monica is drawing a picture, and the three guys are guessing. She draws what looks like an airplane.]
Chandler: Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79!
(Timer goes off.)
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
Monica: (pointing at the drawing, upset) Bye... bye... BIRDIE.
Joey: Oh!
Phoebe: That's a bird?
(Monica glares at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: That's a bird!
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: OK, OK, it's my turn. (reads the answer)
Chandler: Go.
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
Ross: Uh.... bean! Bean!
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
Rachel: Yes!
Monica: That, you get? That, you get?
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
End
瑞秋，履历表已用完了
你真想到”技工杂志”上班吗?
如果你真想为技工工作
那儿倒儿可试试
各位，我什么都得试试
我不能再当服务生了
我是说真的我已厌倦微薄小费
我已厌倦别人对我说”麻烦一下”
瑞秋，这些你已校对过?
对，有问题吗?
没事
他们对你的电脑”枝巧”一定会印象深刻的
糟了，每一份上面都这样吗?
没有，影印机弄掉一些了
各位
两位小姐，需要什么吗?
信件带来了没?很多了
我们这儿当然有烤饼
快念给我听
亲爱的格林小姐感谢您的询问，然而…
我们有苹果肉桂…亲爱的格林小姐…
怎么了?你欠了好多信用卡费
给我
我真不敢相信
琳达那么好你为何不再和她约会?
我也不知道
是因为她说了”石头族真有可能发生”?
不只是因为那样
因为我要一个能让我有感觉
能让我心跳加速，让我…
感情经验丰富的女人
什么?
你不是渴望着她?
谁?
蒂，”发生何事”中那个尖酸刻薄的女孩
我早就忘了她，行吗?
你们怎么样？
我们很好
闭嘴
我们什么都没说
什么？
昨晚乔伊哭了
谢谢
我们正在玩扑克牌
三点上有巧克力看起来像是八点
可惜你没看到
他说”准备痛哭流涕吧”结果哭的是他
你们怎么没和我们玩过扑克牌?
对，为什么?好像这是男生的专利
好像是有性别歧视的男人的专利
才怪，女生也欢迎加人
那么为什么…到底为什么?
只是刚好女生没加入罢了
对，我们刚好找不到会玩的女生
拜托，这个借口真烂
男生都是这种反应
请问你们谁会玩扑克牌?
不会
你们可以教我
不要
现在开始抽牌
我不需要换牌对吧?
因为我一把顺
恭喜了
菲此，你要几张?
我需要两张
黑桃十和梅花六
不，你不能那样做
等等，我有你要的黑桃斗谢谢
不…不能那样
不…可以，我不需要我要四张同点
我们有鲑鱼乐透和水果盘
摩妮卡，你在干什么?
我们正在玩牌
食物的名称不能超过一个音节
洋芋片，沙司，椒盐卷…
开始玩真的吧高赌资，大笔钱
开始玩真的吧高赌资，大笔钱
菲此刚丢出十一点(杰克)因为他们好像不开心
我准备好了，发牌
各位，最后通知
乔伊有三点，八点
该死
你骗我的吧
骗什么?你们的牌有多好
我在唬你们
什么是唬?
不就是骗的同义字吗?
抱歉，我不能再玩了
我在明天工作前得打好履历表
瑞秋，我们得算帐(定居)
什么定居?
在维吉尼亚的詹姆斯城殖民地
乔治王把土地给我所以…
瑞秋，是赌局，你欠我们钱
哦，好
你们知道吗? 这是她们的第一次
这是她们的第一次别和她们计较钱了
不好，我们会付钱的
摩妮卡，我有另一个答案了”好耳6”
知道吗?我们要再来一次
行，我有钱花了
这么说你们的组合家俱都用朋友的钱买来的
没错，而且我是在"宜家家俱"买的
自己得动手装，便宜许多
瑞秋，这是扑克牌
赌博就是要赚钱
为使我能赚钱别人就得输
如果想和我玩牌就别指望我手下留情
因为牌一发出
然后呢?
我就六亲不认
各位，吃吧
这是从”我爱瑞秋此萨屋”买的吗?
你们还在取笑我?
别这样嘛，为何学起黑道
玩起牌来我六亲不认
你扯太远了
我可不这么认为
因为我认为你爱她
不，或许我曾过她有意思
爱意早已消失
我…马修你想把CD片怎么了?
不能再放上去，马修
如果你们再闹我可要真的六亲不认了
你知道罗斯那混蛋有多烂吗?
我懂，他的好胜心最强了
什么?
凯蒂，我是摩妮卡，你是黑人
拜托
我没像罗斯那么烂
我抗议，”宇典”事件呢?
我不是故意的
我在做手势时盘子不慎滑落
他们叫我去面谈了
你在开玩笑吧?哪儿?
第五大道萨克斯
瑞秋这就像是母船叫你归队
是什么工作?
采购助理，我要购物
来谋生了
她叫艾莉丝姑姑她从五岁起便开始玩牌
她说的每字我们都得牢记在心
东尼蓝道死了?
我看不是
为什么?
现在可能已死因为我开车撞到他了
天啊…真的?
不，唬你们的，第一课
告诉你们玩牌听到的每个字都是狗屁
告诉你们玩牌听到的每个字都是狗屁
坐吧，各位
艾莉丝姑姑，这位是菲比，她叫瑞秋
我的车停在计时器前
开始吧
罗斯，我们能听点别的吗?
好吧
我今晚可要倒大楣了
第五位牙医投弃他们推荐”三叉戟”?
不，是面谈，她喜欢我
我们谈了两个半小时
我们对服饰的品味一致
我从前还和她的表妹一起去过夏令营
这工作简直是太棒了
我可以胜任，我能办到
太好了…
然后她告诉我最好笑的事
很好，你讲时我们一定会笑
玩牌吧
各位听好，我们谈过此事如果你想不玩我们完全了解
对，我们可以玩别的
像”宇典”之类的
真好笑
我们想再给扑克牌一次机会
是不是，小姐们?
对，我们应该
瑞秋，需要我来洗牌吗?
不用了，我想自己试试
来吧
菲此欠7块5，摩妮卡欠10块，瑞秋15块
谢谢教我们”斜眼玛丽”
我们该用另一种方式玩了
应该会很不错
这是我的7块钱
你得知道钱已受到诅咒
什么?
我已对它下咒
花这些钱的人会倒大楣
无所谓，我接受我反正够楣的了
这样我才能看场电影喘口气
才刚离开绿色扑克牌机就了欠15块
男生都这副德行
我是男人我有大家伙
我得赢钱增加力量以征服女人
知道吗?还没结束
我们会再找你们玩
而且我们会赢你们会输
你们会企求，我们会大笑
我们会赢走你们的每一分钱
你们会永远恨死自己
我们的意见一致，摩妮卡
现在可以交出钱来吗?
如此我们就不必正式玩了
不，我倒要看看谁笑到最后，猴子男
聊完了没?可以开始玩真的没?
你们看，独眼杰克到处跟踪我
好，玩真的
抱歉，你要上哪儿去?
浴室
你想上厕所还是玩牌?
我想上厕所
好吧，我去订此萨
不，我仍等着工作的电话通知
他们的店在9点关门那时候再吃吧
行，我含薄荷糖提神
未见牌不得下注，下注吧
下…不下
你的钱是我的了，菜鸟
你的拉链没拉上
我刚刚才了解到
十一点上有个J，真巧
巧合上也有个巧
菲比?
我不跟了
我跟
我也跟
我也跟，你拿什么牌?
你最好逃出浴室因为我拿同花顺(冲马桶)
回来吧，小子因为我拿了四张六
我赢了…
我想罗斯的钱得让我赚了
我想这是罗斯的那个也是罗斯的
我赚到你的钱你再无法见到它
你的拉链依然没拉上
我让你低头看了
摩妮卡，跟还不跟?
我讨厌玩牌
乔依，你呢?
我像是被满脸伤痕的胖子撞到肚子的二流妓女
我不跟
罗斯?
我跟
钱德?
我也一样，瑞秋?
我不但跟而且还要加注
如何?还想再浪费钱吗?
这一回不会
快嘛，给我看
给我看
我有同样的约会经验
天啊，你真是输不起的家伙
你的脸涨得好红
太阳穴的小血管都浮出来了
而且衣裤并不相称
第一，我没输
别再谈输了，快发牌吧你输定了
瑞秋格林
抱歉
这是有关工作的电话
芭芭拉，你好吗?
不，我懂
不，我没事，快别这么说
是否还有其它职缺请人?
我很遗憾，瑞秋工作满街都是
玩到哪儿了?
拿五张牌
十一点比较好，大家下注
瑞秋，别再玩了
要玩
下注
我下5毛钱
跟跟
我跟你的5毛钱
而且我要加...
5块钱
我以为5毛是上限
我刚失去工作所以想加5块
各位有问题吗?
当然没有
输家
退出
退出是什么意思?怎么了?
你不是发牌后就六亲不认的狠角色?
还是只是虚张声势?
我跟
几张牌?
一张
庄家两张
行，二块
再加你20块
20块
我跟你20块
再加到25块
跟你25块
摩妮卡，拿我的皮包来
瑞秋，里面没钱
那就拿你的皮包来
来，祝好运
谢谢，跟你25块，再加
7...
10块！
乔伊，我的钱有点不够
没问题，你可以向我借
要多少?
15块
这里有10块
我这里有5块
谢谢，好运气
再加十七块，你拿什么牌?
葫芦
败给你了
看，输给他们了
没有好牌就是没有好牌
瞧，她多开心
飞机
机场，机场75
机场77，机场79
时间到
再见…小鸟
那是小鸟?
那就是小鸟!
该我了
开始
开始
生命中无法承受的轻
答对了
这样就能猜中…