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The One Where Eddie Moves In
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
ROSS: Get out.
ALL: No.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
JOEY: Art.
MONICA: Art it is.
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
PHOEBE: [looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
ROSS: Well uh, it's cause he had a thing with, wi-, with the thing.
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
RACHEL: Hey, nice toilet.
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
ROSS: Wha-, you have a phone in here?
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
[Someone bumps into Rachel and she drops the pie in a guy's hood that's seated at the table. She improvises by using the plate as a saucer for the coffee.]
RACHEL: OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
ALL: OK.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
ALL: [congradulating her and celebrating]
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
ALL: [celebrating more]
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
[everyone is quiet, unsure if she's done or not]
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
ALL: [celebrating]
[the guy with the pie in his hood get up to leave]
RACHEL: Oh God. Ross, OK, if you care about me at all, you will get the pie out of the man's hood.
ROSS: Get the what?
RACHEL: Pie in the hood, pie in the hood. Go.
[Ross goes over behind the guy and grabs the pie out of his hood as he leaves]
GUY: What're you doing?
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
ROSS: Calm down, I'm blow drying.
[Rachel enters with laundry and starts folding]
MONICA: Blow drying what, you have no hair.
RACHEL: What's goin' on?
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
MONICA: GET OUT YOU DUFUS!!
RACHEL: Or ya know, he's rubber and you're glue.
ROSS: [comes out] All yours.
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
ROSS: [in a childish voice] I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
MONICA: Shut up.
ROSS: [childish voice] Shut up.
MONICA: Cut it out.
ROSS: [childish voice] Mi-mi-mii.
[Monica goes in the bathroom]
RACHEL: [sarcastically] I've never wanted you more.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar wearing huge dog-slippers]
CHANDLER: So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? [squeezes the ear of one of the slippers and it barks] Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.
[Joey's apartment, phone rings]
JOEY: Hello.
CHANDLER: Hey.
JOEY: Hey!
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
CHANDLER: Yeah well, I hear the place looks great.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
CHANDLER: Oh hey, it's, it's terriffic. I mean it's a regular space... fest.
JOEY: Oh, well great.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
BOTH: Baywatch!! [both turn on TV's]
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
CHANDLER: I still can't believe they promoted her to lieutenant.
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting between Rachel and Ross.]
ROSS: I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back.
CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together.
ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated.
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
CHANDLER: But...
ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not... rommmates anymore.
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
PRODUCER: Alrighty. From the top.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
MONICA: I was.
ROSS: Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. [gets the other line] Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. [hangs up the other line] Call Joanna. [back on with Tony] Hi.
MONICA: Did she leave a number?
ROSS: Did you see me write one down?
MONICA: I don't have her number, butt-munch.
ROSS: Well, she'll call back, don't be such a baby.
MONICA: I'm not a baby, you're the baby.
ROSS: Look, you wanna get off my back?
MONICA: You wanna get out of my face?
ROSS: Wait hold on Tony, hold on. [answers second line] Hello. Hi, yeah no, she's right here. Um hold on. [gets first line] Hi Tony, can I call you back? That's uh, that's my sister's boyfriend.
MONICA: Give me that.
ROSS: OK.
MONICA: Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. [she starts throwing oranges at Ross who's looking pleased with himself]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: So uhh, how's the palace?
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
CHANDLER: Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news.
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
EDDIE: Nice to meet ya.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
EDDIE: At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
JOEY: Wow.
CHANDLER: Well you know, we got to talking and uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
CHANDLER: Hey Jo. When'd you start usin' mousse in your hair?
EDDIE: [annoying laugh] Is this guy great or what?
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
ROSS: Uh, Eddie something. He just met him.
RACHEL: It'll never last, he's just a rebound roommate.
[Pheobe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
ALL: Hey.
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
ALL: [cheer]
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
ROSS: I know.
PHOEBE: I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
RACHEL: Pretty uhm, different huh?
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
JOEY: Eddie.
CHANDLER: Morning.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
CHANDLER: Oh it's uh, over there on the table.
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
CHANDLER: No, Eddie likes to keep it over there.
EDDIE: Alright, here you go my friend. Eggs a-la Eddie, huh?
CHANDLER: Oh, ooh.
JOEY: Huh.
CHANDLER: What?
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
EDDIE: Well you guys, I'm outta here. See ya pals.
CHANDLER: See ya. [Eddie leaves]
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
CHANDLER: Oh, I couldn't be happier.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
CHANDLER: There's another carton right over there.
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
CHANDLER: Alright, so what's it about?
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Monica are fighting over the remote.]
MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
ROSS: Tough noogies, we're watching Predators of the Serengetti.
RACHEL: Would you guys stop.
MONICA: It's my TV.
ROSS: Wha-, oh, quit it.
MONICA: Bite me.
RACHEL: Oh my God.
ROSS: Well, Monica keeps changin' the channel.
MONICA: Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
MONICA: OK, what're we gonna do about this?
ROSS: Well, I guess we could tape Entertainment Tonight.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
ROSS: Ow, ow, OK. Alright, alright, Mon, Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, alright.
MONICA: I just can't stand you being here all the time.
ROSS: Why, why, why can't you stand me being here? I don't, I, we're just, ya know, we're just havin' fun.
MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
ROSS: Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids.
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
ROSS: You hated me when we were kids?
MONICA: Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.
ROSS: Why did you hate me?
MONICA: Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way.
ROSS: And that wasn't fun for you?
MONICA: Duh-huh!
ROSS: I can't believe you hated me.
MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
ROSS: Really?
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
ROSS: I can do that.
MONICA: Then I won't have to kill you.
ROSS: So you wanna watch uh, Entertainment Tonight?
MONICA: Yeah, thanks. You know what?
ROSS: What?
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
ROSS: Ohh... OK. [changes the channel]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
ALL: Hey.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
ALL: No.
PHOEBE: Yes.
RACHEL: Well, how did you find out?
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
MONICA: So what're you gonna do?
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
MONICA: Sure.
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
ROSS: What woman?
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
RACHEL: OK, Phoebs. But what about you?
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
CHANDLER: Hey Eddie, you uh, wanna play some foosball?
EDDIE: No thanks man, I'm not uh, I'm not really into sports.
CHANDLER: [stares in disbeliefe] Yeah o-, OK, alright. [oven timer goes off] Doesn't matter, time for Baywatch.
EDDIE: Y-, y-, you like that show?
CHANDLER: You don't like that show?
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
CHANDLER: Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
CHANDLER: Oh o-, OK man.
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
[Joey's. Playing ping pong by himself.]
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
ALL: Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, it's not your fault.
PHOEBE: Monica.
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
CHANDLER: [reluctantly sings] You're obviously not their favorite pet.
MONICA: Joey.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
END
好了，不准偷看…
不准偷看
不准偷看…
不过我张开眼睛时你最好穿着衣服
好了，张开眼睛
妈妈咪呀，我的小乖乖
“我们的日子”跟我续约了
我知道
现在我们终于可以比较像样地看“绿色大地”了
哪一张是我的?
随你喜欢哪一张随你喜欢哪一张
那张不行
哦，帅
哦，帅，这才叫生活
我们敢吗?
我们敢
真不敢相信两条牛的牺牲是…
…让你们跷起二郎腿来看电视
不，它们是椅形牛
它们在野外无法生存的
这个萤幕太炫了狄凡戴看起来跟真人一样大
露丝玛丽不该上这么大的萤幕对不对?
嗨，各位
嘿，你
你今天怎么样?
和平常没什么不同
晴空万里，鸟儿欢唱
真的?我的也是
酷，我的也是
我得去馆里一趟
我们今晚见?
再见，各位
今晚?
今晚怎样?第一个正式的约会
第一次约会
哈罗?
嗨
今晚你说要替我跑堂的派对餐点那件事?
我的话有没有让你想起什么?
哦，天啊，摩妮卡，我忘了
这是我们的第一次约会
工作是我妈妈帮我找的，我可以当服务生
谢谢，菲比
真的，菲菲?你必须真的当服务生
这不是像“我可以当小熊”之类的
我可以当服务生，瞧我的
给我两份一号餐培根要八六分熟…
…一份亚当夏娃叠吐司
是007
抱歉来迟了，没关系，请进
对不起，盖勒摩妮卡来不来?我听说她要来
柏大夫，是我
摩妮卡?
老天，你以前好…
我是说你…你一定减了…
你美极了
谢谢
这是我朋友菲此她今天晚上来帮忙
菲此，幸会
你近来如何?很好呀，很好，你呢?
你大概也知道我跟芭芭拉分手了…
…不然你不会来歪头那一招
歪头?
对，自从离了婚当别人向我问好时，
…他们总是同情地歪头问“你好吗?不要紧吧?”
对不起
不…没关系相信我，我也一样
我总是以点头来表示“我没事”
“你确定?”
“对，我没事”
听着，我得去放音乐了我有个自动换片音响
当然了，离婚的结果我只剩四张CD可换了
真不幸
死不了的
两份大的，吉士都要双份
听着...
…别按十九号的电铃
按二十号，高林寓
她们会开门，懂吗？
按我们的门铃就没小费
谢了
薄饼马上就来我说我们不用起来的
如果要尿尿呢?
我把汽水取消
你必须回去里面这是你的派对
可是他们好乏味他们都是眼科医生
你也是眼科医生
那是因为我父母要我那样我本来想当警长的
真好笑白内衣，白内障，我懂了
不，我懂了，你留在那里
瞧，好，这样吧
五分钟后我来叫你就说烤肉出了问题好了
好吧，你最好这么做
天，我去了
要看他们发狂吗?
瞧我的
谁需要杯子?
你好神魂颠倒哦
我才没有
你是只神魂颠倒的小猫咪
你应该约她，柏大夫?
我不认为我是说，他是个大人
所以呢?你们两个完全互相着迷
菲此，他是我父母的朋友他此我大二十岁
那你就再也不跟他见面了?
不是永远
我明天约好了要去他那儿检查眼睛
你不是才检查过眼睛吗?是啊，但是…
27是个应该
...小心眼睛的年龄
我不是说这部电影不好我只是说这电影有一点点…
…难懂
我说过会有字幕的
我知道
我只是不想在第一次约会戴眼镜
摩妮卡?
我亲你时你不叫我老妹的名字会很有帮助
蜜糖，只是检查看看
摩妮卡?...摩妮卡?
怎么了?
抱歉
对不起只是当你的手滑到我屁股上时…
就像“哇罗斯在摸我屁股”，抱歉
很好笑，为什么呢?
那不好笑
我是说，对不起我猜我是有点紧张
这是你啊
是我们呀
我们在越过那条线那是件大事
我知道很大我只是不知道这有…哈哈大
我的手离你屁股好远
我知道...
我只是想到你的手上次在那里那回
对不起…听着，我保证我会乖
我不会再乱笑了把手放回去
不，现在…换我不行了
我觉得太不自然了一边脸颊就好
不，那一刻过去了
把手伸出来，我自己钻进去好“浪漫”
来吧，摸一下
来吧，捏一下，不要
揉呢?
来嘛，你抓我屁股，好吗?
你瞧瞧，车子起火了…
…可是它那昂贵的烤漆…
…却被奇迹蜡保护得毫发无伤
你脸上有条吉士，老兄
你来这儿干什么?不是要跟瑞秋出去吗?
那是十四个小时前
那结果如何?
听着，你们有没有试过跟一个女孩亲热…
…然后她开始笑起来…
有啊，不过那是1982年…
…我的“天地一群鸥”发型让她的下巴发痒
怎么?她笑你吗?
我从九年级的打字课起就想这一刻了
我只是希望一切能完美…
…顺利，而...
激光束为什么切不断烤漆?
是奇迹蜡的关系那绝对是一项奇迹
各位
听着，我在想…
听着，你们可以大声点吗?
你们放低声音我们反而更听不到
昨晚的事我很抱歉我真的真的很想补偿你
你不需要补偿我…
…怎么个补偿法?
我在想或许来顿浪漫的晚餐…
…烛光加上美酒
或许回我那边去…
点心？
听起来
…很完美?
这是什么?
帮忙买两瓶啤酒，好吗?
我现在要看你的眼睛了
真的？
对，那是我的工作
好
看上面
看下面
不，张开眼睛看下面
那就对了
看光线这里
现在看我
看起来很好，很好的眼睛
很好，它们觉得很好
在我头上
见到你真好，彼此
彼此
再见了
眼药水
眼药水，来，免费的
谢谢
我最好走了
对，咱们改天见
再次谢了
我们得把你们这两只懒猪弄起来
你们应该走出这里去跟三度空间的人打交道
不，里面好
外面坏
你们真是太可悲了
“仙纳度”
她加入会员了
我们只是想过来跟各位道晚安
晚安
你瞧瞧，他们连头都不回
好了，各位，我要脱上衣了
她说谎
别再叫吃的去我们家
摩妮卡，打扮得这么美干嘛?
今晚又不是只有你有约会而已
什么?你有约会?跟谁?没有谁
他叫什么名字嘛?
没什么
来嘛，告诉我
好吧，不过这件事我非常兴奋，懂吗?
你得保证你不会摆出大哥架子来教训我
我保证，是谁?
是柏理查德，柏理查德是谁？
柏大夫?
你要跟柏大夫约会?为什么…
…我会不高兴呢
我爱那家伙他就像…
…爸爸的兄弟
他正好是我交过的男人中最聪明，最成熟，最性感的
柏大夫性感?
天啊，绝对是
该死
该死
柏大夫亲过我一次什么时候?
我七岁时我骑单车在他家门前摔了跤…
…为了让我停止哭泣他亲我这里
我知道
南方古猿不应该在那个展览的
不…能人是挺起的南方古猿从来不是完全挺起的
或许他是紧张罢了
看，我真不敢相信
能人根本还没学会使用工具他们竟然还给他陶罐
不如给他一个微波炉算了
抱歉我花了那么多时间
这此我想象的还花时间我们会吃晚饭的
没关系，不要紧
卡尔
天啊
那是米雪吗？对
高中毕业后就没见过她了
老天，那天晚上她好醉…
激动
你知道她又要生了吗?
我以为她才刚生过不…亨利快两岁了
他讲话啊什么都会，看
前几天他告诉我他喜欢我胜过他的爷爷
公平说来，他的爷爷是酒鬼，但还是...
你是个爷爷
我们疯了吗?
我不知道，或许
我是说我在你游泳池里尿尿过
我不需要知道那个
我猜21年是差太多了
去他的我此你老了整整一个饮酒年龄
那么，或许我们应该就...
对...或许...
去他的我此你老了整整一个饮酒年龄
这真的太逊了
是呀，可不是吗?
我们不用现在就决定什么对吧?
不…我们一点都不用急
送薄饼来我要杀了那两个人
我好了
对，不过餐厅也打烊了
什么?对不起我们…去别家餐厅好了
很晚了，所有餐厅都打烊了我们改天晚上再吃好了
不…不要
不要?
来吧
那是死的，对吧?
这是什么?我们在干嘛?
你要红莓苹果或红莓葡萄?葡萄
现在...
...坐下
天啊
数十亿年前，地球只是…
抱歉
我们在看什么?
你看那边…那一大团旁边那一小堆星星
那是大熊座
真的?我不知道，有可能
听着，抱歉我今晚必须工作
没关系
你值得我等
我指的不只是今晚
你没笑
这次没那么好笑了
天啊
甜心
没关系
什么?
不，你刚刚压到了果汁
谢天谢地
嘿，你
真不敢相信我会在你身边醒来
我知道，是很令人难以…
怎么了?
是火警警报器吗?
还没变热，还有时间
酷，对，酷