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The One With the Chicken Pox
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
RACHEL: Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left.
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
CHANDLER: Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...
MONICA: Give it to me.
CHANDLER: No.
MONICA: Give it to me.
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
[Chandler is visibly upset]
RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
RACHEL: So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?
[Once again, Chandler has a bite in his mouth and can't come back.]
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
ROSS: [enters] Hiii.
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
ALL: Oh no.
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
RACHEL: Well I've had it.
JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.
MONICA: Had it.
CHANDLER: Had it.
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
RICHARD: What're you doing?
MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.
RICHARD: Are you remaking the bed?
MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
RICHARD: You're pretty much running that risk either way.
MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
RICHARD: Oh, well that's not so crazy.
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
RICHARD: Oh, alright.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
SCOTT: [enters] Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
SCOTT: No kidding.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
SCOTT: Where do you work?
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
SCOTT: Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha...
JOEY: Ha-ha. [Scott leaves] Are all you processors dorks?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]
RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
RACHEL: You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
PHOEBE: Come in.
RYAN: Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]
PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?
RYAN: What's goin' on?
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
RYAN: Chicken or small?
PHOEBE: Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.
RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
RYAN: I'm sorry, I never had 'em.
PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
RYAN: Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey, how's the first day goin'?
JOEY: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
CHANDLER: Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?
JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
CHANDLER: Weird world. Your kids?
JOEY: I figure my character has kids.
CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
RYAN: You know what makes the itching even worse?
PHOEBE: That you don't stop talking about it.
RYAN: Fine.
PHOEBE: Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...
RYAN: What're you doing? Are you scratching?
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
RYAN: You're scratching. Give me the dice.
PHOEBE: No.
RYAN: Give me the dice.
PHOEBE: No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.
RYAN: We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
RYAN: No.
PHOEBE: Give it.
RYAN: No.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
RYAN: Oh God help me.
PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
RACHEL: Oh, stop that, stop that right now.
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
JOEY: Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.
JEANNIE: Bye bye Joey.
JOEY: What a phony.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas.
JOEY: Sir.
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.
MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
MR. DOUGLAS: Rough numbers?
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
CHANDLER: Uh, if you say so sir.
JOEY: Joseph's good, isn't he?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm going to kill you.
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
CHANDLER: Why?
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
RICHARD: You're strict.
MONICA: It's for their own good.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
MONICA: Very good.
RICHARD: Thank you.
MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
RICHARD: Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.
MONICA: No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.
RICHARD: No come on. Come on tell me.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
RICHARD: Come on.
MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
MONICA: Oh yeah.
RICHARD: Yeah.
MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
MONICA: What if they get mixed up?
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
CHANDLER: Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?
JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
CHANDLER: Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that?
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
JOEY: What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
JOEY: Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
JOEY: Karen.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
JOEY: Really?
CHANDLER: No freakshow, she's fictional.
JOEY: Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.
CHANDLER: Thank you.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
RACHEL: No sorry hon, Monica's orders.
RYAN: [Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mits on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.
ROSS: Ok, dinner's on.
RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
ROSS: Alright you kids, bye now.
PHOEBE and RYAN: Bye. [waving]
ROSS: Oh look, a low budget puppet show.
PHOEBE: It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
RYAN: Wine?
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
PHOEBE: What?
RYAN: Sorry. You look beautiful.
PHOEBE: Oh.
[They start to kiss. They try to get each other's shirts off but can't get the buttons undone.]
PHOEBE: You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mits, Ryan follows her lead.]
[They keep kissing and start scratching each other. Ross enters, takes one look, and goes right back out the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
MONICA: What's up?
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
MONICA: Yeah?
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
MONICA: Alright, go on.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
MONICA: Oh my God, you're a freak.
RICHARD: Yeah. How 'bout that.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Ryan are there. Ryan is in uniform, getting ready to leave.]
RACHEL: So uh, Ryan, were you shipping off to?
RYAN: I really can't say.
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
RYAN: I can't say.
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.
ROSS: Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.
RYAN: I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.
ROSS: Bye Ryan.
RYAN: Pleasure.
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
RYAN: Take care.
[Phoebe and Ryan walk outside.]
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
ROSS: You like that do ya?
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
ROSS: I'll make some calls. [Runs off.]
RACHEL: Ok.
[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]
RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
RYAN: Taxi.
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
RACHEL: Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor.
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
RACHEL: I'll say.
[Ross picks her up.]
ROSS: I'm shipping out tomorrow.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
END
嗨 Monica, 为什么我们在看财经频道?
因为那天我无意中看到发现
有个股票上面有我的名字前缀，MEG，
嗯，有时我要等2，3个小时才能看到它再次出现，
但是，当它出来的时候，还是很爽的。
Ok 亲爱的，你真的得找份工作了。
Mon（Monica的昵称，下同） 说起这个，
老爸说他认识个人，你要是想面试可以打给他。
真的？
Ok，就这个。
这是今天第三个征兆了。就这个。
为了大家，我得问一句，怎么了？
不是。因为你刚才说了爸爸。
而且今天我不论我去哪里，
我都不停的得到应该去见我爸爸的征兆。
就好像当我过来这里的时候，
我经过一个自助餐厅（buffet）...
- 那（Buffet）是我父亲的姓。
- 啊哈。
他们当时正在上法兰克福香肠（franks），
在结尾去掉s（Frank）那是他（我父亲）的名。
没错！！
而且那有个烤肉架上有个转着烤的鸡。
他的印度名字？
不，因为我上次因为害怕没有去见他。
（chicken out，跟鸡chicken同）
这些都是巧合吗？我可不那么认为。
- 古怪 / - 哇欧。
- 很奇怪。 / - 不可思议，不可思议。
Ok，谁想要最后一个汉堡？
哦，到此为止，现在我必须去见他。
为什么？
汉堡。麦当劳。
老MacDonald（麦当劳拥有者）有个农场。
我父亲是个药剂师。（音同农场）
- 噢，我太累了。
- 是呀。
- 嗨，你觉着干脆不打墙球了，
呆在这里怎么样？
- 嗯，好吧。
嗨，你们坐了我们的位子。
噢，不好意思，我们不知道。
嗨，我们刚才坐在这里的。
Ok，还有另一个说法，
天知道？
你这话应该是很风趣的吗？
不，实际上我只是想换个说法。
- 这家伙怎么回事？
- 你怎么回事？
恩，没什么，他没怎么。
享受你们的咖啡吧。
刚才怎么回事？
我只是拿了你的帽子。瞧，我也可以变得风趣。
我的笑话就是，我拿了你的帽子。
那，那很有趣。
- 我能拿回来吗？
- 不行。
- 不行？
- 不。
好吧，好吧，这么招吧，
我认为你很风趣。
那个帽子笑话很不错。
但是，别介哥们，
把帽子还给他吧。
为什么我们应该（还给他）？
因为这是一个很特别的帽子。
他买这顶帽子因为那天他情绪很低落，
所以他才买了这帽子来让自己高兴一点
你知道，现在Chandler...
别说了，起码现在别说了。
我直说了吧，你实际上偷了我的帽子？
- 怎么？有问题吗？
- 没有，只是确认一下我们当成共识。
Hey，面试怎么样？
糟透了。
那是个50年代主题餐馆。我不得不穿着戏服做饭
并且在柜台上跳舞。
我以前是“Cafe des Artistes”的厨师
我怎么能在一个叫 Laverne and Curly 快餐店
的地方做东西？
那就别干。
我怎么能不干？我只有$127存款了。
Monica，放轻松，
去拿个啤酒。
我不想喝啤酒。
谁说是给你的？
嗨~
你们又怎么了？
有衰人在咖啡厅拿了我的帽子。
- 不会吧。
- 开玩笑吧。
这太荒谬了。那两人，他们就是那种
吃软怕硬的，你知道，就那种欺负老实人的。。
- 我们都是成人了。这种事情不应该再发生了。
- 噢。Hi。/ - Hi。
噢~，不对，等等，我身边一个也没有。
嗨，我们下去把你的帽子拿回来。
呐，算了吧，很可能都已经剥开了分块卖了。
- 嗨，我上去了。
- 什么？
我的股票，MEG,，它升了2点。
嗨，你们意识到如果昨天我把我的
127美元投资到我（股票MEG）身上，
现在就我就有...
比现在多得多的钱了。
你们猜怎么着，我要干这个。
干什么？
把钱投到我（股票MEG）上。
Monica，迷糊了？
你对股票市场一无所知。
有什么难的？买呀卖的，
高呀低的，猫呀狗的...
喂，Manhattan（曼哈顿）...
对，我要股票...交易所的
电话号码。
瞧，我告诉你带些枕头
是个好主意了吧。
哦，老天。我们到了。
这是我有生以来第一次要说
“Hi，生父”
- 我们爱你，我们支持你。
- Yeah 祝你好运。
谢了。
嗨，Rach，你呃，
你想来点三明治吗？
噢，那里面都有些什么？
橄榄油面包跟火腿肠
没有蛋黄酱
不，因为蛋黄酱
会弄得它很恶心的。
嗨，嗨，别，噢，噢
跑，Phoebe快跑。
别，小狗狗，别这样。噢
我热爱所有动物的，别这样。
给它块骨头，扔块骨头
你有骨头吗？
开什么玩笑？
别咬了。
噢，老天。好吧，
从我腿上滚开，你这个混帐东西
Ok，好吧，我们有麻烦了。
你问什么不伸出手去
把它的蹦床拿走
好，这样，我知道怎么做了。
嗨，嗨，嗨，不
Ok，狗狗，去吃-啊~
OK，去吃那块三明治。
狗狗，吃吧。乖狗狗，
吃那三明治，吃...OK，
Joey，那狗肯舔自己，却不碰你的
三明治，这说明什么？
哼，如果它要是不吃的话，
我还吃呢。
你疯了？
Phoebs，那只是一只小狗。啊~
- Hey.
- 怎么了？
是不是要成为一个21世纪不动产代理商
才能穿那些很酷的夹克？
你就跟女孩们说这些？
- 嗨嗨嗨，这不是那个以前
戴你帽子的家伙吗？
- 看他们坐在哪儿呢？
你开玩笑呢吧？你们刚刚才进门。
- 也许我们没跟他们说清楚。
- 是呀。
这沙发属于我们。
好吧，这么找吧。
你们叫这沙发，然后我们叫它，
看它会走向谁？
你们知道我想什么呢吗？
问什么你们俩还坐在这？
够了。
我受够了这样了，知道吗？Gunther，
这些家伙想抢我们的座位。
哥们儿，他们先来的。
- Oh，不好意思，没注意到。
- 不好意思。
- 行了吧
- 谢了，Gunther.
我们不是一定要这样才行的。
- 他告我们的状？
- 你告我们的状？
嗯，伙计，你们没给我别的选择。
- 别玩他的东西。
- 我知道。
好吧，我们到外面谈谈吧。
我们，我们到外面谈谈？
谁这么说话？
马上就要痛宰你的人这么说话。
- 是你问的。
- 对。
Ok, ok, 知道吗，
我们并不打算跟你们打架。
好，那有个条件。
只要你们永远不再出现在这个咖啡店，
你们就不用（跟我们打架）。
我认为你用Gunther用得太早了。
Hey Phoeb's，我想你现在能去了。
我不知道。
怎么了？
我只是觉着这是一个很坏的征兆。
我是说像一开始就是野兽。知道吧。
就好像，我没有别的亲人了，
除了我祖母。
但是，面对现实，她不可能
一直都在
除了她自己不这么认为。
我还有个妹妹，自从我们住在一个子宫以后，
我就基本不和她说话了。
我不肯定。这是我的真正的父亲。
我只想让事情发展的顺利。
- Yeah Phoebe, 我完全理解。
- Yeah, 你想怎么样都好。
Hey, 你想回家吗？
好吧，多谢了。
再一次，对不起呀。
那是什么？
嗯...我想开始的路已经清静了。
我要买5股SGJ，我要现在就买。
快点兄弟，时间就是金钱。
多谢，喔~
时间就是金钱，兄弟？
是呀，你错过了“钱能生钱”，还有，嗯
“被逼我过去痛宰你们这些华尔街的家伙”
Hey，我在早餐之前赚了$17，
你呢？
嗯，我在这里吃的早餐，
所以从技术角度讲，我省了3块5。
- 你怎么赚得$17？
- 嗯，我的金融上的
很有竞争力的伙伴们
我用我的钱分别买了一些
CHP和ZXY。
为什么买这些？
嗯，CHP是因为我以前很喜欢Eric Estrada。
（这个人在电视剧CHiPS里扮演一个很受欢迎的角色Ponch）
ZXY是因为我认为它听起来是zexy。
（跟sexy--性感，读音接近）
那，呃，MEG怎么了？
MEG不错但是我甩了她。
你知道，我的座右铭是
在躺下（下跌）之前滚开。
这绝对不是我的座右铭。
嗨。
Hey Phoebs. 哦，那狗怎么样了？
Ok，我跟兽医谈了，北边的人
真是很友善。
不谈那个。他说小家伙会没事的，
我可以明天去接它。
- 好极了。
- 噢，多谢老天爷。
是呀，不过它不得不要缝N多针，
而且他说，只有太阳从西边出来
狗的耳朵才有可能重新长出来...
仍然是期望中。
Ok, Phoebe，现在你会打电话给你的父亲
让他知道他的狗没事了吧？
我，我不想跟我爸爸在电话上见，
我说什么呀？
好像，“Hi, 我是Phoebe，你丢弃的女儿，
噢，顺便说一句，我弄伤了你的狗。”
- Hey Phoebs, 如果你想，我可以打
- 好吧。
听着，别说任何关于我的事情。
别...用电话时间太长。
她会是个更好的朋友，
在股票市场关了后。
是个女人。
跟她说话。
（低沉，像黑帮讲话）
嗯，你好Buffay小姐，
我知道你的狗在哪里？
我就是想让你知道，它会在24小时内
几乎跟新的一样还给你。
恩，再见。
- 为什么是那样的声音？
- 不好说。
- 先生，你的cappucino（有很多沫的咖啡）
- 谢谢。
- 你知道吗，我觉着这里比咖啡店好多了。
- 绝对呀。
它怎么不跟水溶在一起？
嗯，包装上说，你要不停的搅动它。
边搅边喝，边搅边喝，别让它停下来。
嗨，这太荒谬了。这样，
等我从我侄女的洗礼回来后，
我跟你们一起到咖啡店
我们一起享受一杯好咖啡。
没问题的，有Joey呢
好耶。
不行。
不行？
不，我不想以后每次我想来杯好咖啡
都要有Joey陪着我。
我不想在我的后半生都喝"K"开头的cappucino
（拼写错误形容质量低下）
我说你和我下去，
勇敢的跟那些家伙抗争。
哈，等等，猛人。
说真的Ross，你以前被痛打过吗？
当然。
- 被除了Monica以外的人?
- 没有。
那又怎么了。被痛打又怎么了？`
也许那是每个男人一生中都要经历的事情，
就像通过的象征之类的东西
恩，我们能不能只是再次失去我们的贞操？
知道吗，因为我觉着我的实际上
又长回来了。
- 我要借100块。
- 什么？
Hi，欢迎回家。
- 我要借一百块。
- 为什么？
- 我要重新回到游戏之中。
- 为什么？你什么时候退出游戏的？
- 不知道。我全赔了，全赔了。
- 噢，不。
嗨，我已经跟他们达成协议了，
你也要。
这个...
瞧，呃，Mon，我，我很抱歉。
好吧好吧，我们的一百块呢？
- 我，我没有一百块。
- 但是我要它。
要不然我就不得不去做那份
很滥的餐馆工作了。
你知道，就是跳舞加上戏服。
我不想戴阻燃剂做的假胸。
没人想，亲爱的。
Hi.
Schnoodle。老天呀，我的狗TMD怎么了？
是个意外。干了这个的那个女人绝对
不是成心的。
她是个素食者。
这些是什么？缝针？
是的，那是8针，总共它身上缝了56针。
另外，如果下雨，你不能让它向上看
太久，因为那个圆锥形护脖很快就会满的。
嗯，多谢把它剩下的这些部分带了回来。
没问题。呃，Frank在家吗？
你怎么会认识Frank？
那是，那是很久以前了。他在吗？
在。
Frank。
哎。
怎么了？
噢，OK，恩，我是指老Frank。
- 他出去买吃的去了。
- 那他会很快回来吗？
嗯他是四年前离开的，所以
我们估计他很快就能回来了。
好吧，我，我得走了。对不起，因为那狗，
还有所有的事。对不起。
嗨女士，嗨，等等。
你怎么认识我爸？
嗯，其实我不认识，只是从基因角度讲，
他也是我爸爸。
- 有分量。
- 是呀。
嗯，他说起过我吗, Phoebe?
没有，但是实际上他什么都不说的。
噢。
除了高跷。
高跷？
是，他喜欢踩高跷。
有一次我在楼上，从我妈的包里面偷烟，
然后
忽然间我向外看，我爸的脑袋正
平移过窗口。
在他脸上有很开心的微笑，
他还向我挥手。
- 因为当他踩在他的高跷上的时候，
他总是很高兴。
- 哇喔。 / - 是呀。
- 我不知道怎么玩那东西。
- 我也不知道。
你就是我的姐姐。
没错。
那太好了，你可以给我买啤酒。
（21岁以下禁止买酒）
我不会的。
但是你知道什么事情酷吗？
如果你有个叫Pete的朋友，我就可以说
“噢，我认识Pete，他是我弟弟的朋友。”
- 我有叫Mark的朋友。
- 那也行。
Cool，好。
也许，你知道，我能什么时候给你打个电话，
我们可以聊聊什么的。
没问题，那没问题。
好。
- Ok，我在电话簿里。
- Ok，对。 / - 好。
呃，高跷是吧？
对。嗨如果你愿意，我可以带你到后面，
看看他在哪里把他的脑袋撞到排水槽上的。
好呀。
恩，我们做到了。我们来到这里，
挺立在我们的领地上。
- 弄杯咖啡花这么长时间？
- 你能不能快点，快点。
谢谢。
- 啊，我们做到了。
- 我想我们已经证明了我们的能力。
- 你烫到嘴了？
- 已经感觉不到舌头了。
欺负人的那伙人。
哦，瞧瞧谁在这儿，是小不点们。
我们那天没说清楚吗？
说清楚了，那也是为什么我们来了。
对，我们挺立在我们的领地上...
显然地。
来吧。
哇喔喔，你有什么？一个武器？
这是块好表。我不愿意打碎在
你的肋骨上。
- 好吧，我们开始。
- 来吧。
问题，如果我不在乎我的手表，
我能用它作为武器吗？
你什么意思？
嗯，它很尖锐，是金属的。我想我能，
嗯，用它弄出些严重的伤害。
- 不。你不能用你的表。
- 好吧。
- 或者是你的钥匙。
- 好。
这么找，我们把所有的表，钥匙放在这个
帽子里，把帽子放到那边。
好嘞，哥们，来吧。
在我忘了之前问一句，我们打脸吗？
当然打脸？为什么不打脸？
因为我周一要上班。我有个很重要的
现场演说。
实际上，恩，我明天要展示那个公寓，
所以，恩，这个不打脸的事不是个坏主意。
Ok，不打脖子以上的。
或者是腰以下的。
- Dana正在排卵期。
- 哦，真的？你们又在试了？
是呀。
Ok，让我直说吧，我们就是
指中间这部分？
来呀！
嗨，嗨，哇喔，你想来点这个，恩？
想来点这个，恩？我站着这儿呢。
嗨嗨，那些家伙那我们的东西。
- 嗨。
- 嗨。
老天，刚才真是，真是太爽了，
太不可思议了，你们，你们可真猛。
我们，那你们的？哥们，你真是，砰，
给了那家伙一下。那可是个大家伙。
对，他是很大块，不是吗？
是呀，我真不该错过了所有的。
别这么说自己，我们每个人都可能
被那小女孩的跳绳绊倒的。
恩，哥们儿，
我们，我们这就没问题了吧？
- 我们没问题了。
- 好。
Ok，我能要回我的帽子吗？
- 不行。
- 呃？
瞧瞧她。
Hi Monica.
- 嘿嘿嘿，怎么样？
- 嗨，胸不错。
大家大家，看这个。
棒极了。