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The One With Barry and Mindy's Wedding
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
ALL: Who?
JOEY: All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty.
ALL: Wow!
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
CHANDLER: 'Cause he was just so darn cute.
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
ROSS: Well, hey. You're an actor, I say you just suck it up and do it. (Rachel looks at him in disbelief) Or you just do it.
JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.
MONICA: Then what's the problem?
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: continued from earlier]
CHANDLER: Hey, what did your agent say?
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
MONICA: What, forget it!
RACHEL: Yeah, right.
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
CHANDLER: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
PHOEBE: (laughing) Oh my God, you look so good!
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
ROSS: So don't, I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding.
RACHEL: Because I promised Mindy I would.
MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)
RACHEL: Look you guys, I have to go, I'm the Maid-of-Honor. And besides you know what I just need to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself.
(Chandler enters, sees Rachel in the dress and starts laughing)
PHOEBE: Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action?
CHANDLER: I may have.
MONICA: Woo-hoo, stuud!
ROSS: What's she look like?
CHANDLER: Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
MONICA: Woo-hoo, geeek!
CHANDLER: I like this girl, okay, I seriously like this girl, you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy...
ROSS: Get out!
RACHEL: Nooo!
MONICA: Please!
CHANDLER: Well she totally called me on it, okay. She said, 'cut it out, get real', and I did.
RACHEL: Wow! What's that like?
CHANDLER: It's like this, me, no jokes.
PHOEBE: All right, stop it, you're freaking me out.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
ALL: Bye, Richard.
MONICA: Bye sweetie, (kisses him) I love you.
RICHARD: I love you, too.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
PHOEBE: I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
MONICA: What are you talking about? What wedding?
PHOEBE: Come on, like you never talk that.
MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?
MONICA: Could not be more terrified.
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
MONICA: Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure.
RICHARD: Okay.
MONICA: Did you ever, uh, like, think about the future?
RICHARD: Sure I do.
MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?
RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.
MONICA: Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah!
MONICA: Keep talkin'.
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
MONICA: Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
RICHARD: Like a hound?
MONICA: Not a basset, a bassinet.
RICHARD: You really need the bassinet?
MONICA: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
MONICA: Uh-huh.
RICHARD: Look I want you, now.
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
[Rachel, in her bridesmaid dress, complete with hat, which makes her look like Little Bo Peep, and Ross enter]
RACHEL: Hey!
CHANDLER: I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
ROSS: Get away from me I said no!
MONICA: (entering) Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs.
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
ALL: Bye.
PHOEBE: Bye, good luck.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
PHOEBE: What does she mean by HH?
CHANDLER: (shyly) It means we're holding hands.
PHOEBE: Are you the cutest?
CHANDLER: I'm afraid I might just be.
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
CHANDLER: Okay, it's not a guy, all right, I know her.
PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
CHANDLER: How do you not fall down more?
PHOEBE: Okay, ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?'
CHANDLER: All right. (reading her answer) "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
CHANDLER: I can't believe she's married.
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
[Scene: Barry and Mindy's wedding, Monica and Richard are standing in the lobby]
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
RICHARD: Neither am I.
[Scene: later the bridesmaids and ushers are getting ready to start, Ross is looking for Rachel]
ROSS: Hey, there.
RACHEL: Hi.
ROSS: Are you all right?
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
RACHEL: God I know, you're right.
(Annoying wedding planner enters)
WEDDING PLANNER: All rightie, everybody look at me. Good. All right, its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines, thank you.
RACHEL: Okay, I'll see you after the thing.
ROSS: Okay, good luck (kisses her and leaves)
RACHEL: Thank you, Okay, Okay.
[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: after the wedding, Ross and Rachel are in the lobby]
RACHEL: Why the hell didn't you tell me!
ROSS: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
RACHEL: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
MR. WINEBURG: Rachel!
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.
MR. WINEBURG: I tell ya a lot things!
MRS. WINEBURG: Well it's wonderful to have you up and about, again, dear.
MR. WINEBURG: Stay well.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
MINDY: (entering) Rach! Rach!
RACHEL: Oh, hi!
MINDY: Oh my God, I'm married!
RACHEL: I know.
MINDY: I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
RACHEL: Oh honey, I'm so proud of you, Min.
BARRY: (entering) Min. Oh Rach, you're still here, at our wedding, they were packing up the chopped liver about now.
RACHEL: Yeah, I love that story. Um, I got a question for you guys. Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about?
MINDY: Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.
RACHEL: Insane!
MINDY: ...from the syphilis.
RACHEL: What?!
BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into
his room)
(the computer bing, bongs)
PHOEBE: Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. She wants to know what's wrong?
CHANDLER: What's wrong? What's wrong? You're married that's what's wrong.
(bing, bong)
PHOEBE: Oh, my.
CHANDLER: What?
PHOEBE: She wants to meet you in person.
CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
MONICA: Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will.
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
ALL: What?!
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
RACHEL: What.
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
RACHEL: Why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding, why are you adding?
ROSS: Most of you don't know me, I'm Rachel's boyfriend.
RACHEL: Oh dear God.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
ROSS: (runs after her) No, Rach!
BARRY: And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I
really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
ROSS: Marenge,
RACHEL: (singing) "...marenge, thank you honey, and do the cha-cha. And while she like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. At the, wait, wait, everybody.."
ROSS: Everybody!
RACHEL: At the Copa, Copa Cabana (everyone joins in) The hottest spot north of Havana. At the Copa, Coo-pa Ca-ban-a, music and fashion were always the passion, at the Copa....
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
RICHARD: Okay, I'll do it.
MONICA: You'll do what?
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
MONICA: Oh my God!
RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.
MONICA: Really?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'
RICHARD: But you're not.
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
RICHARD: God. I love you.
MONICA: I know you do. Me too. (pause) So what now?
RICHARD: I guess we just keep dancing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
CHANDLER: Where is she, Where is she? (grabs Rachel) Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?
RACHEL: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.
CHANDLER: (noticing a beautiful blond walking in) Ooh, oh, oh, that's her.
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
(Chandler's date walks in)
CHANDLER: Oh my God! (it's Janice)
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
ALL: OH.....MY.....GOD!!
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
END
那么，我来准备蜡烛和我妈妈的花边台布,既然是瑞秋的生日，我认为，
我们要搞的特别一点，我想煮条鲑鱼
怎么?
问题是. 为什么我们总是要在你煮东西时开party?
那你当负责食物的筹委?
第二个问题. 为什么我们开party总要筹委?
确实. 为什么我们不能就弄些比萨和啤酒乐一乐?
对, 我同意. 我认为有趣的party大家都参与才有趣
我不能肯定我们都行
好吧. 如果你们不希望搞特别一些，好. 你们别再想开任何party.
乔伊，它们不是真的.
我塞了些东西在下面, ok, 它们是假的.
看? honk honk（大雁叫）.
哇, 就象色情书刊上的小丑.
我问过瑞秋的姐妹了, 她们都不能来.
Ok, 嗯 所以, 我只有要请迪龙，艾玛和姗伦.库珀
Woah, woah, woah, uh, 不要姗伦.库珀.
为什么不能请她?
因为她 uh, 她偷东西.
也许不是她爱偷东西，而是乔伊和她上过床后就再也没打电话给她.
乔伊，这太过分了.
嗨 我是喜欢她的, 好吧. 也许, 也许太喜欢了. 我不知道
我猜我是害怕吧.
对不起, 我不知道.
我想没人会买那个, ok.
嗨 亲爱的, 还好吗?
Agh, 刚从地狱毕业.
你知道吗, 我表弟刚得到地狱的橄榄球奖学金.
当然, 这是一个很好的开玩笑的场合.
我妹妹从大学毕业了, 没有人想到.
真应了一句老话“会咬人的狗不叫”.
那有什么问题?/ 我父母的问题.
他们要做的就是坐在露天运动场, 骄傲地笑, 别再谈论离婚.
但是，不,
他们在毕业演讲中间发生大争吵.
校长实在不得不停下来“嘘”他们.
但你们想知道, 你们想知道好消息吗?
我得接下来要端8个小时的咖啡。
Ok, 因此我猜我们不必邀请他父母. / 好, 只请她妈怎样?
为什么是她妈? 因为我已经请了她了.
不，不, 不能请她.
她也偷东西.
Ok, 生日蜡烛好了. 生日蛋糕在哪?
Ok, 我们没有生日蛋糕, 我们有生日果馅饼.
什么?
是一种传统的墨西哥奶油甜点.
Oh 太好了. 生日快乐，瑞秋, 这是些糕.
Dr. Greene. 哦，天啊，是瑞秋的爸爸.
你来有事吗?
什么? 她父亲不能在她生日的时候来看看她吗?
不，不, 父亲可以,
但是 嗯, 我是她的室友，她不在，我可以传口信, 好吧. 就，再见.
哦，你们开party.
不, 不, 不是party. 只是一些人的惊喜聚会，瑞秋知道的.
嗯, 这是菲比，钱德和乔伊
我从来就记不住这些. 所以 uh, 怎样进行?
瑞秋回来, 大家跳出来大叫，就这些?
这不是你的第一个惊喜party吧, 先生?
嗨 莫妮卡.
中餐馆拿菜单的. 忘了菜单.
哦, 也就是个中国人.
Uh, 嗨, Dr. Greene, 为什么不跟我来把你的夹克放到瑞秋床上.
好啊, 听起来好像需要两个人.
天啊, 怎么回事?
桑徳娜, 非常对不起, 我以为你是瑞秋没料到是你.
你以为我是瑞秋? / 是啊 因为 uh, 你看起来太年轻了.
还因为你们都, 是啊, 白种女人.
Oh, 我想念你们这些孩子. 哦, 我能把大衣放到卧室去吗?
不! 不行,
我帮你拿. / Oh 好，谢谢. 真是一个绅士. 多谢.
啊, 太好了, 很喜庆, 这么多气球...
我来的路上最好笑的是， 我...
Ha-ha, 太好笑了, ha-ha.
我忍不住听完, 你知道吗, 但我实在要去洗手间了，所以...
嗨, 一起去. / 什么?
是啊, 是啊, 好像我们都是女生, 你知道, 就象在餐馆. Oh, 很有趣, 来吧.
Oh 天啊, oh 天啊, oh 天啊.
Ok, 想想, Jack和Chrissy还要做什么?
Ok, 现在你的夹克已经安全放在床上了, oh, ok 我们可以回客厅了.
好 uh, 乔伊和钱德，我, 我想你们可以带Dr. Greene到你们那边去了。
Uhh, 对, 当然,
嗯. 为什么又?
因为party在那边，笨蛋. 这只是集结地.
对，是集结地.
对, 还有更多东西, 这里只是集结地.
这显然挂错了房间.
好的，你们分到一号party
而你们, 你们分到二号party
好的，小伙子们, 这边走，这边走.
钱德，你能不能派一点点女人到我们的party?
来了，是罗斯.
Ok, 他们来了, shhh.
哦, 多谢你的美妙的晚餐. / 要谢你生出来了.
哦, 谢谢你送的漂亮耳环，太美了. 我爱你.
Oh, 现在你可以拿取换东西了, ok.
现在我更爱你了.
惊喜. / Oh 天啊, 哦.
莫妮卡. Oh 天啊. 妈妈. 太棒了
生日快乐，亲爱的.
Wow 你, 你. 我一点都不知道.
真的吗?
不，我知道的. / 是吗.
Ok, 各位, 桌上有吃的和饮料.
穿过走廊. / 什么?
快去, 乔伊和钱德那里, 快去.
为什么? / 快去.
惊喜.
生日快乐，亲爱的.
爸爸!
他们都来啦, 都来了, 两人都来了?
对, 我们要不要再算一下.
真不敢相信.
你知道, 太可笑了, ok. 这是你的生日，你的Party. 我是说我们让他们在一起
如果他们处不来, 谁管呢。
我管. / 对啊.
好, 你行吗?
行, 只能这样, 我实在没其它办法,
我的意思, 你知道, 我起码看到好在, 我有两个生日parties和两个生日蛋糕.
哦, 实际上只有一个生日果馅饼.
什么?
是一种传统的墨西哥奶油甜点...
去和莫妮卡谈谈, 她是食物筹委.
乔伊，乔伊. 嗨, 有些女孩走到我面前说, '我要你，丹尼斯,'
还把舌头伸进我的喉咙.
我爱这个party.
快速排球问题. / 排球?
对, 我们在你的房间开了个球场. 哦, 你是不是确实不喜欢你那盏灰色的灯吧, 对吧?
乔伊, 一个女人刚才把舌头伸进我的喉咙, 我根本没听见你说什么.
丹尼斯! / Ok, 叫我.
听着亲爱的, 你能拖住爸爸吗？我想和妈妈聊一会儿.
Ok, 你觉得有什么籍口吗?
Uhh, 只要摆出“我就是和你女儿的那个人”的姿态就可以了.
Ok 各位, 我要大家那一片纸, 你的,
写下你记得最难堪的事情.
Oh, 我还要你们不用笔的时候，把笔套套上
因为很快会干.
嗨 Dr. Greene.
嗯, uh, 还好吧，你的心血管科....游戏?
不是游戏，罗斯, 今天有个女人死在我的台上.
对不起.
看我的工作好在这.
我台上所有的恐龙都是死的
听着, 我不是想为难大家，但是
嗯, 我刚才注意到有些人把它大开着，你必须推进笔帽
直到你听见嘀响一声.
刚特, 你要去哪?
我 嗯, 我有点想也许...
不. 不行，你不能走.
不，这好玩. 来，我们刚开始. 这, 这是你的笔.
听着，如果你想走，尽管走.
不行, 她又会喊住我的.
好吧, 我会帮你出去. / 什么?
Shh. 等会, 我转移视线. 那时，马上走出门别回头看.
我想喝点东西.
哦, 我, 我去帮你拿. 你要什么?
威士忌.
威士忌. 好的, 我马上带着你的威士忌加冰回来.
纯的! / Cool.
不，不，不，不，不，不, 纯的, 不加冰.
我明白.
Oh hello 罗斯, 你去哪了?
嗨. Uh, 我去洗手间了.
好清掉大马哈鱼甜点.
Oh, 纯威士忌. 你知道吗, 那是瑞秋父亲的饮料.
Oh, 我也喜欢. 不那么纯,
纯威士忌.
失陪?
嗨, 嗨, 你去哪 uh, 想溜走?
我去取我夹克你的香烟. / 不. 不行.
为什么不行?
不是, 嗯, 看，是因为，那是，那是集结地.
如果你进去, 就会破坏整个party的气氛.
所以, 我想你还是带的你的威士忌回那边，我去帮你拿香烟.
眼镜，一起. / 没问题.
上次不早说.
Ok, 第一个人最难堪的事情是,
'莫妮卡, 你的party令人非常失望.' 非常有趣.
Oh 不, 哦, 哦, 谁忘记用杯垫了?
怎么啦?
没什么.
对, 我看见水纹而已.
罗斯, 谁的眼镜?
我的.
你老花? / 嗯-hmm.
我有时, 显然, 我需要两种不同的焦距.
你知道我丈夫也有一副这种眼镜?
不! / 嗯 这种镜框很流行.
因为Neil Sedaka也带这种.
我听说你有办法带人出去.
瑞秋,
你没告诉我你男朋友抽烟.
是啊, 像个烟囱.
哦, 老烟鬼.
很老的老烟鬼.
实际上我正要到走廊点燃这坏小子.
你带我的眼镜?
对.
我想帮你热一下耳架.
谢谢.
那也是我的烟?
对,
是的, 我润湿一下滤嘴.
Ok, ok, 她去倒垃圾所以我可以带你们出去现在就走,她随时会回来.
我朋友Victor怎么办?
不行, 只能你们三个, 再多她会怀疑的.
好吧, 我去拿我的外衣.
/ 没时间了.
东西留下. 隔壁会招呼你们.
他们真的有啤酒吗?
传闻都是真的.
你们可不可以小声一点, 我们准备开始猜谜游戏了.
你, 还有你, 你们应该在我的party.
还有刚特!
你在这干吗?
Ok, 欢迎来到 哦.
菲比.
好吧, 对不起但是他们需要我.
他们辛苦工作一周, 星期六晚上,它们应当开心一下,去吧.
你知道, 我的party也有趣. 我的意思, 也许比较安静, 少些刺激 但你知道,
只要大家有机会...
你要我去看医生?
亲爱的, 显然你有些问题.
你选的男朋友太像你父亲了.
Ok 妈妈, 你知道, 好的, 我会预约的 ok, 但你知道, 好吧, 我得走了, 我得去做些事.
你知道你母亲花了$1200买装饰树吗?
我觉得好像在小人国里面.
爸爸, 爸爸, 你知道, 我非常想听你说, 真的很愿意, 但我不得不, 不得不去做, 点事.
你干啊干为婚姻做很多事
但他关心的只是他那愚蠢的船.
你干啊干不停地整理船...
他总是嘲笑我的陶艺课...
...你磨光给它上漆...
...当所有的都干完了,她还在喝他的酒.
...她的瑜伽和她的《麦迪逊廊桥》...
...威士忌和香烟...
/ ...装饰树还有c嗨uaua...
...我只治疗了三个星期但现在亲爱的...
/ ...她到底要船的哪部分...
Ok, ok, 你是衬衣我就是皮肤.
我是皮肤!
嗨, 你在这躲什么, 老虎?
Oh, 对不起, 我父母离婚时我得到很多老虎.
得到许多小马，酋长，体育品，甚至一个指挥官.
果然这样, 是不是? 我说的是, 我的生活就象这样.
我妈妈在那边, 我爸爸在这边. 感恩节, 圣诞节.
她住房子, 他住公寓，我妹妹将要漫步柳树林.
哦, 钱德，你怎么解决这些的?
哦, 我依靠一大堆严谨的否决程序。
然后, 哭湿了床.
你知道, 我只是, 太不可思议.
我指的是我听他们互相指责对方
但我一直在想着国庆节.
因为它使你想起我们祖先互相指责的方式?
是这样. 每年我们都要坐我爸的船出去看烟火.
妈妈总是讨厌它因为海风把她的头发吹得乱七八糟.
我妹妹吉尔就在旁边吐
而爸爸总很紧张因为没人给他帮忙，然而
当我们帮他时，他就会骂我们做错了.
但是烟火开始时，我们都会安静下来,
你知道, 实在太冷了, 我们都蜷缩在一张毯子下.
从来没有人多带一张.
但现在这...
我, 我明白.
Ok, 谢谢光临, 希望你们玩的都好.
好吧, 莫妮卡, 我要走了.
我留了十个动词在桌上. 你一定要完成一首诗送给我.
Ok 我会的. 谢谢你来.
我想我看见瑞秋在走廊.
Ok, 我去看看.
你妈妈要走了. / Oh ok.
生日快乐，亲爱的.
/ Ok.
Ahh, 你开车安全吗?
罗斯, 你在干嘛.
我在练习划水.
啊, 哦, Dr. Greene, 你去哪?
/ 拿我的外套.
不，不，不.
行, 没问题, 我可以自己拿外套.
对不起, 我们闻到果馅饼香了.
Oh 不行, 你不应该在这. 这是集结地,
你应该, 错了, 你应该离开,
对吧, 出去.
我必须回到我的城堡, 谢谢.
Oh 好吧, 那么我想我们真要去走廊.
Greene太太，多谢光临.
哦, ok, 保重.
Oh, 孩子
好, 这是我今年参加的最好的party.
谢谢.
Ok 各位, 该上果馅饼了.
对, 准备好庆祝节目.
有点像你感染的那个东西.
Ok, 够了.
Ok 瑞秋, 许个特别的果馅饼愿吧.
Ok, 我许了.
小心头上!
哦, 愿望几乎从来就没有实现过.