六人行第二季-第 12 课-The One With the Prom Video
The One With the Prom Video
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey. Hold on a second. [shoots a goal] Huh?
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
CHANDLER: What's this?
JOEY: Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
JOEY: Heh, what d'ya say?
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
JOEY: Put it on.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: I so am.
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
INTERVIEWER: Well, this all looks good.
MONICA: Great.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
INTERVIEWER: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like.
INTERVIEWER: No, just a salad will be fine.
MONICA: You got it.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
INTERVIEWER: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
MONICA: That's your call.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
INTERVIEWER: Are they, uh, firm?
MONICA: They'r alright.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
INTERVIEWER: You gonna slice them up real nice?
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
INTERVIEWER: Aaaahhhhhhh.
MONICA: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
ROSS: Oh really? What uh, what does he want with her?
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
ROSS: Wha, OK, now how do you know that?
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
CHANDLER: Oh, she's goin' somewhere.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
[Monica enters from bathroom after taking a shower]
CHANDLER: Hey, you feelin' better?
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
MONICA: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MONICA: So, what's this.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MRS. GELLER: Well sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Rachel enters with a laundry basket]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
RACHEL: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
RACHEL: What, what incident?
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
CHANDLER: No, I'm alright, thanks.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
GAIL: I'm Gail.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: I'm Ross Geller. Wha, I'm, God in your add you said you were pretty but wow.
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
MAN: Sure will. I've uh, gotta go. Take care.
ROSS: OK, see ya later, nice meeting you. [man leaves] You're welcome.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: I was saving you.
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
ROSS: But, you are.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
ROSS: No, but. . .
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
ROSS: Well, but, but. . .
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
ROSS: E-except, except that what?
RACHEL: No, no, ACC-cept that.
ROSS: Oh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
JOEY: Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
ROSS: Hey guys.
MRS. GELLER: Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him?
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MONICA: Where have you been?
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
MONICA: No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet.
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MONICA: Because they made me.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
MONICA: Anything larger back there?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey.
JOEY: How come you have two?
CHANDLER: Well this one's for you.
JOEY: Get out.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
CHANDLER: That's what they'll call us.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
ROSS: Here you go, you can pay me back whenever you like.
MONICA: You have dinosaur checks?
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
MONICA: Hey, you got me, put it in.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
RACHEL: Hi.
ROSS: Hi.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
RACHEL: Oh my God.
JOEY: What is with your nose?
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
RACHEL: Oh.
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
ALL: Oh yeah we do. C'mon.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
MONICA: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
MONICA: Oh, you look so great.
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
MONICA: Oops.
RACHEL: What?
MONICA: Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you.
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
MONICA: Oh, dad, turn it off.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
JOEY: Lookin' good Mr. Cotter.
ROSS: You look pretty tonight.
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . [doorbell rings]
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
ROSS: this summer?
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
RACHEL: Oh my God, look there's Roy Gublik.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
RACHEL: Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet?
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
ROY: Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
ROSS: Doubtful.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
ROSS: I don't know.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
ROSS: OK. Hold my board.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
ALL: No, no, no.
ROSS: OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright.
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MONICA: I can't believe you did that.
ROSS: Yeah, well.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
MRS. GELLER: Dance with him.
MONICA: Mom, I'm hungry.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
MONICA: Alright.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
BOTH: Oh, ohhhhh.
[Monica is visibly upset]
END
无法摆脱工作的压力?
那就来一杯…
…猴子乐啤酒吧
喝一口猴子乐
喝一口猴子乐
猴子乐…
猴子乐啤酒
因为外面是一片丛林
那个广告总是让我悲从中来
但是那个家伙一开啤酒女人就拥上来了…
…所以最后一切还好的
我的意思是那只猴子让我想到了马赛
我看得出来
它们都有棕色的大眼睛还有鼓鼓的小下巴
而且它们都是猴子
有时候我怀疑我是不是做错了不应该把它送走
你是不得已的啊看到什么东西都要上
我的马里布芭此娃娃结婚不能穿纯洁的白纱了
记得有时它会跟你们借帽子…
…等你要回来的时候里面会有小小的猴子“葡萄干”?
它干的就叫好玩如果我对我老板这么做的话…
突然就变成了我的态度不好
你们看，猜我有什么?
韵律感，对不对?
不是，第一封影迷信
“亲爱的雷医生
我爱你，为了得到你我可以不惜一切”
“你不神秘的仰慕者方艾丽”
等一下：“附注：随函附上了我十四根的睫毛”
在疯子的世界里那就表示你结婚了
这不是寄到制作单位的这是直接送到你家去
她去过我们的大楼
我的天啊
我有我自己的变态影迷了
你上哪儿去了?
因为洛杉矶有一个古生物学研讨会
我会去，然后开车到动物园给马赛一个惊喜
我想它会很惊喜的直到它发现它是猴子…
…它根本就没办法有那种情绪
菲此，那个可爱的家伙又来了
菲此，那个可爱的家伙又来了
…假装我在讲故事给你们听故事非常的好笑
所以大家要笑
我知道
我叫罗伯杜南
罗伯杜南
我对音乐一窍不通不过我觉得你非常棒
我在替市里的儿童图书馆安排艺人的演出
我在想，你有没有想过为小孩子演唱你的歌呢?
我好想要小孩哦…
听我…听我演唱我为他们写的歌
你今天晚饭做什么?
我们可以留在家里吃自己啊
我是艾丽
变态影迷
没关系，门没关
对，用平底锅打她是个好主意
不过，我们应该想点别的以防她不是卡通人物
离开这里
偏挑这个时候不在
我们走时在楼梯上碰到的时候…
…她不会知道是我因为我们没有见过啊
那是收音机明星的方法
她来了
是我
就这样了，我们就这样死的
预备好了?
等等。。。
艾丽
盖勒先生?
黎迪恩，我是这里的行政组长
听说你有个问题，是不是?
我似乎找不到我去年捐的猴子它是一只戴帽猿…
…它的名字叫做马赛?
我恐十自有个坏消息要告诉你
马赛它已经过世了
天哪，怎么会呢?
它生病了，然后它病得很重…
…然后它突然好了一点
然后就死了
我真不敢相信
很抱歉，盖勒先生你也知道嘛，俗话说
“猴子难免一死”
不是很好的俗语…
…用在今天却很贴切
那应该有人通知我才对呀对不起
我知道这不能够让它复活…
…这是我一点心意，请收下
动物园礼券?
对，四点请过来看一看乌秀金刚鹦鹉戴帽子
你的猴子没死的话会可爱多了
我知道
真不敢相信乔伊去跟他的变态影迷吃饭
她长得怎么样?
你还记得“战栗游戏”里面的凯西贝兹?
她长得跟她完全相反
那她不是疯子吗?
不，她的完全秀斗了
她以为乔伊真的是雷崔克医生
我的天哪
然后他还要去跟她约会?
他不能这么做的
就因为这个女人以为她可以在她的客厅黑盒里面看乔伊…
…并不表示她就不是人啊
我是说，她应该得到快乐也应该得到爱呀
你们看我干什么?想上那个疯子的是乔伊
你还好吧?
不，我只是很紧张
如果我幻想他们只穿内衣…
不，那个主意不好上个家伙就是那样被开除的
我只是…我习惯为大人演唱
大人只是…边喝咖啡边做他们大人做的事
小孩呢…
…会专心听
我觉得这个责任好重大
怎么了?
你要亲我吗?
我正在考虑
那好，好耶，口引门来些音乐
各位，我是菲此菲此
现在我要唱一首关于祖父母的歌
奶奶走到哪里都大受欢迎
她送你火车跟一辆簇新单车
但最近她不再来共进晚餐
上回你看到她时她看起来瘦多了
你妈跟你爸说她搬去秘鲁
事实上她死了，有一天你也会
崔克，这真是太好了是啊，没错
怎么了?
现在我们轻松地坐在这儿…
…但不久前，你还在重注西蒙的脊髓
是啊，那实在不简单
事实上…
…那个手术要花上十几个钟头可是他们只播了两分钟而已
“他们”是谁？
没有啦
崔克，你真有才华让我看看那双手
这双美丽的手
真想吃掉它们
不然我的手表一定会掉下来
不，说真的，这双手…
这双
…救人无数，创造奇迹的手
只要靠近，抚摸或许甚至舔一只就好了
好吧，一只就好了
你很行耶
天哪，来人哪，他噎住了
这里有没有医生?
沙仑市最好的医生就在这儿
雷崔克医生
你十五分钟之后到夜行馆等我
少来了我不喜欢跟别的男人那样
要动物园礼券吗?
我要告诉你有关你猴子的事
它还没死
我不懂，你为什么不救他?
因为我是神经外科医生
…他显然是患了…
…“食道阻塞症”
好吧，听着我要坦白一件事…
你什么都不用告诉我
你不用向我解释什么
我算老几啊竟然敢怀疑伟大的雷医生
能接近你，我就该满足了
黑，我。。。
嘿什么?
就那样，只是嘿
像结束了一首舞那样，嘿
有一天你们会长大
你们会想跟别人上床
只为搏得他们欢心
因为
…你不要做的事一起来
那是另一件你不要做的事
太棒了，很有教育性
点也不会不恰当
谢谢各位光临后面有饼干要送给你们
真是棒透了
孩子们爱死你了
对呀，我酷毙了
你知道为什么吗?因为你说实话
从来没有人对小孩子说实话
你真是了得
你真是了得
你怎么知道还有但这种事情逃不过我的
不是“但是”就是“蛋饼”
我想问题是有些父母…
…会希望你多唱一点…
…农场动物那类的歌曲
这个我办得到啊
真的？
因为那样子会非常棒
怎么?你要亲我吗?
我正在考虑
蝙蝠
像一只插翅的信差冲出了巢穴
死神之舞的盲目幽灵
兄弟，我的猴子呢?
对了
在几个月前…
…这里被洗劫，内贼干的
你的猴子被偷了
我的天哪可是动物园说我的猴子死了
动物园
你相信动物园说的每一件事吗?
动物园只是告诉过我这件事
他们当然会说它死了他们害怕消息传出去会不好看
他们掩饰得密不透风
你知道这件事情牵涉到多高层吗?
那个黎先生?
黎先生知道?
黎先生知道，是吗?
哈罗，负子鼠先生
树上的谜团上下颠倒的夜之民
正在嘲弄着地心引力…兄弟，我的猴子呢?
道上的传闻…
当我说“道上”的时候我指的是园里的游园道路
当然了
你的猴子有了新职业了…
…往娱乐界发展去了我只知道这一些
真是令人难以置信
好了，这个消息对你值多少钱啊，朋友?
你是暗示我要贿赂你吗?
或许吧
可是你都已经告诉我了
你们看
马赛就是啤酒乐广告里的那只猴子
那你打算怎么办?
我要打电话给那家啤酒厂问他们它在哪里啊
我丢了马儿时就是这么做的
你们好
菲此好
今天我们要先唱一些关于农场动物的歌曲
草地上的牛说哞
农夫在敲它的头把它绞成肉酱
汉堡就是这样来的
现在…鸡
崔克，你是唯一救得了她的人
该死，我是医生，我不是神
我的信仰就是这样被推翻了的
是艾丽
老天，快，关掉电视
不，我要看结果
我救丝莉脱离昏迷状态然后我们亲热
怎么可能?你刚才亲了莎宾娜
瑞秋，那只是乔伊是神经外科医生的世界
艾丽，请进
你怎么这么快就到了?我刚刚还在沙仑看到你
对，他们用…直升机送我
什么事?
还有一场小派对
她在吗？谁呀？
莎宾娜，你们的事我全知道了
我看到你们两个在医生休息室里接吻
不是你想的那样子啦，那是…
你说你心里只有我
好，听着，够了
我想我们不该再见面了
我知道我很久以前就应该告诉你了…
…我并不是雷崔克医生
我连医生都不是，我是个演员我只是假装我是医生而已
天哪，那医院的人知道这件事情吗?
你们谁来帮帮忙，好不好?
我知道。。。
我在哪里?
大学的附设医院…
…你已经在这里度过十八年了
你怎么会在两个地方?
因为那是电视节目
崔克，你到底要说什么?
我不是崔克
没错他不是崔克，他是…
…雷汉斯，崔克邪恶的双胞胎
真的吗?
是真的
我知道因为…
…他假装他是崔克来…来骗我上床
然后他告诉我他要带我私奔
他骗我
然后你马桶盖没有放下来你这个浑蛋
这些都是真的吗?
是，恐怕是真的了
我根本配不上你，艾丽
你应该跟真正的崔克在一起你爱上的人是他
去沙仑吧，去找他
他才是你的王子
汉斯
汉斯?
汉斯!
邪恶的双胞胎
对，再见，艾丽
一切顺利
保重了
我永远不会忘记你的
刚才是谁向我泼水
我们只是想帮你
开除?
为什么?
有很多父母向图书馆的董事会投诉…
…你歌词里的一些内容有问题
我真不敢相信
难道说你没有告诉你的董事会孩子们多么想听实话吗?
我懂了
或许如果你只是唱一些一般的儿歌
不，你要…我当什么呢?
…当一只愚蠢的紫色大恐龙吗?
我又没说你必须当巴尼
巴尼是谁啊?
我是追查马赛追查到这个的现在它很健康也很快乐…
…它在纽约拍“危机总动员病毒肆虐曼哈顿”
你骗人
简直绝妙，我知道
我才终于混上电视这猴子开始拍电影了
瑞秋，我好了
抱歉，这是那个说实话的唱歌小姐吗?
对呀，我猜那就是我
她在这里
有时男人爱女人
然后还有双性恋
虽然有些说他们在骗自己
真是令人兴奋我都快一年没见到我的猴子了
你洗澡从来不往下看吗?
我连说个“猴子等于命根子”的笑话都不可以吗?
好了，好了
各位，往后退
打扰了那只猴子在什么地方?
抱歉，各位这场戏不对外开放
对不起，你不了解我…我是它的朋友
我们…我们以前住在一起的
是啊，我跟海豚飞宝还在波可若分租公寓过呢
罗斯，它在那里
兄弟
兄弟
在丛林里
偌大的丛林
今夜狮子睡着了
在丛林里，偌大的丛林
今夜狮子睡着了
他们不带你去看兽医
你显然不是最受宠的宠物
臭臭猫，臭臭猫
那不是你的错
怎么了？对不起
那有什么不对吗?
我想你应该选择一个男性化一点的调子比较好
