六人行第二季-第 14 课-The One Where Joey Moves Out
The One Where Joey Moves Out
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
CHANDLER: Waaa-aaah.
JOEY: What?
CHANDLER: The spoon. You licked and-and you put. You licked and you put.
JOEY: Yeah, so.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
CHANDLER: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
CHANDLER: Hey.
MONICA and PHOEBE: Hey.
JOEY: Hey.
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
PHOEBE: Ahh.
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
PHOEBE: Okey-doke.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
CHANDLER: Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
PHOEBE: Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
CHANDLER: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
ROSS: What? What's on your shoulder?
PHOEBE: Um, a chip. A tattoo, I'm getting a tattoo.
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
MONICA: Ross, come sign this birthday card for dad. Rich is gonna be here any minute.
CHANDLER: Oooh, Rich is goin' to the party too, huh?
MONICA: Well, he's my parents' best friend, he has to be there.
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'
[Scene: The Gellers' house. Monica, Ross, and Richard are arriving to Mr. Gellers birthday party.]
ROSS: Alright, shall we?
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MONICA: Happy birthday dad.
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
ROSS: Hi ma.
RICHARD: Happy birthday.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
FRIEND: Well, you kids take the train in?
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MONICA: Are we still on that?
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
CHANDLER: Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Hey.
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Thanks. You want it?
JOEY: Huh?
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Yeah, I'm movin' to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one.
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Why not? You hate park views and high ceilings? C'mon I'll show you the kitchen.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
FRIEND: Yeah, is she really 20.
RICHARD: I am not telling you guys anything.
MR. GELLER: C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously.
ROSS: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
MR. GELLER: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?
RICHARD: Jack, would you let it go?
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
PHOEBE: OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily?
RACHEL: Well I. . .
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.
PHOEBE: Here we go.
RACHEL: [reluctantly] Uh-huh.
PHOEBE: You're not going?
RACHEL: Uh-huh.
PHOEBE: What? Is it - is this 'cause of what Ross said?
RACHEL: No. Well, yeah, maybe.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
RACHEL: What's 1922?
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
RACHEL: Yes I do, it's just that Ross is. . .
PHOEBE: OK, hey, HEY. Is your boyfriend the boss of you?
RACHEL: No.
PHOEBE: OK, who is the boss of you?!!
RACHEL: You?
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
RICHARD: How ya doin'?
MONICA: I'm a twinkie.
RICHARD: Really? I'm a hero.
MONICA: Oh, this is so hard.
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
MONICA: Maybe we should just tell your parents first.
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
RICHARD: I know, I know. Just hang in there, OK. OK, I'll go out first, alright.
MONICA: Alright.
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Thank you Richard, I appreciate the support.
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MR. GELLER: I tell you, I've never seen him this happy.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.
CHANDLER: Well it wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.
JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.
CHANDLER: What?
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
CHANDLER: Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
CHANDLER: Fine with me.
JOEY: Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
ROSS: Yeah.
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
ROSS: Eww.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica and Richard are alone in the kitchen.]
MONICA: Hey there.
RICHARD: What?
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
RICHARD: Humm, really?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
RICHARD: Uhh, not that I know of.
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
RICHARD: That - that's an idea.
MONICA: Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
RICHARD: Oh?
ROSS: Ohh.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MONICA: Mom, it's OK.
RICHARD: It is Judy.
MRS. GELLER: Jack. Could you come in here for a moment? NOW!
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
RICHARD: She's not a twinkie.
MONICA: Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . .
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.
RICHARD: Really?
MONICA: Yes.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
MONICA: Dad, dad this is a good thing for me. Ya know, and you even said yourself, you've never seen Richard happier.
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
[Everyone else enters and all start singing Happy Birthday.]
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
PHOEBE: Oh that looks so good, oh I love it.
RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.
PHOEBE: Ahh. OK, let's see yours again.
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
PHOEBE: No.
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER: Hey.
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .
CHANDLER: Yeah me too.
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
CHANDLER: Yeah. So do we need to hug here or. . .
JOEY: No, we're alright.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
CHANDLER: Lick away my man.
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
CHANDLER: What?
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
JOEY: I'm movin' out like we talked about.
CHANDLER: Well I didn't think that was serious. [grabs the spoons back] Ya know I thought that was just a fight.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
CHANDLER: Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
CHANDLER: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times than your sister.
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
RICHARD: No, it's been a long time since your dad and I went running.
[Rachel and Phoebe enter]
RACHEL: Oh.
MONICA: Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see.
RACHEL: Is Ross here?
MONICA: No he went out to get pizza.
RACHEL: Oh really, OK. [shows Monica her tattoo]
MONICA: That's great.
RICHARD: Very tasteful.
PHOEBE: Wanna see mine, wanna see mine?
MONICA: Yes.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
PHOEBE: OK, well then what is this? [shows her bare shoulder]
RICHARD: What're we looking at? That blue freckle?
PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
ROSS: You got a tattoo?
RACHEL: Maybe. But just a little one. Phoebe got the whole world.
ROSS: Lemme see. [looks]
RACHEL: Well?
ROSS: Well it's really. . . sexy. I wouldn't have thought it would be but. . . wow.
RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
RACHEL: I guess.
ROSS: Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
JOEY: Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
JOEY: Yes! And the table is mine.
CHANDLER: Congratulations. [Chandler leaves]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.
CHANDLER: [quietly] Yeah, I remember.
ROSS: Hey, let's bring the rest of these down to the truck.
[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]
CHANDLER: So, uhh, em, you want me to uh, give you a hand with the foosball table?
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
CHANDLER: Thanks.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so.
[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again.
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house.
JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care.
CHANDLER: Yeah.
[Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.]
CLOSING CREDITS
END
等一下
好球...
有东西给你
这什么东西?
812块钱
我不知道老李跟你怎么说的跟我过夜…
…可要一千大洋才够
这是干什么呀?
我现在有赚钱了
这是要还你帮我付的电费跟数不清的披萨的钱
我爱你
谢了，老兄我有钱可以买小马了
这是我小小的心意…
…谢谢你平日的照顾
我不晓得该说什么了
我不晓得该说什么了
怎么样?
我不知道
这是个手镯吧?
上头还刻了字，你看看
“我的好兄弟”
谢了，好兄弟
戴上去啊
现在吗?
不…这么美的东西应该留到特殊的场合再戴
不…妙就妙在这里这配什么都好看
老兄，你戴起来简直好看啊
天啊
真是太配你了
可不是嘛
你知道这对你的性生活有什么样的影响吗?
刚开始时说不定会让我慢半拍
等到习惯这个重量之后就会让我重振雄风了
看起来很好，那就好了
如果我要打电话询问你以前的经验呢?
就写在下面了我经理叫做钱德宾
好吧
来看看你是不是跟你写的—样好，做一份色拉来瞧瞧
色拉?其实我可以做些难度比较高的
不用，色拉就行了
没问题
可是我要你一边做边告诉我你正在做什么
好，我在撕生菜
菜脏吗?
不…别担心，我待会儿会洗
别洗，我喜欢脏的
悉听尊便了
好，你接下来要做什么?
我想，我接下来要切蕃茄了
蕃茄结实吗?
还可以啦
你确定蕃茄没坏?
你确定没有非常非常的坏?
是啊，还可以啦
你会切得很漂亮吗?
事实上，我打算切成丝状
我走了
喂?
不，瑞秋现在不在你要不要留话?
好，哪个凯...哪个西...？
打棒球那个还是乐团的那个?
这个凯西是什么人啊?
她看电影认识的人
真的?他找她干什么?
我猜他想跟她跳点小舞…
做一点小爱…
今天晚上就把她“解决”掉
我不知道，我不懂…
两个月前我们就差这么一点点了
现在呢我在替她看电影认识的人留言
应该是这个凯西替我留言才对呀
或…或是…或是我跟瑞秋应该在一起…
…然后我们…我们一起请电话秘书
耐心点吧，会有那一天的
好，你怎么知道呢?
因为她是你的龙虾
她有话要说的
谁不晓得龙虾一旦恋爱就会白头偕老呢
你真的可以看到老龙虾夫妻…
…在水缸里爪子牵着爪子散步
好点了吗?
我想我的第五次澡终于洗掉那个面试了
你还有其它的机会吗?
有，我很可能会付不出房租来
摩妮卡，你要的话我可以借你钱
因为如果我没有办法马上还看到你就会内疚跟紧张
好吧那你为什么不跟爸妈借呢?
反正你看到他们就会内疚跟紧张
还不如趁机会跟他们刮点钱
他说得很有道理
什么东西亮亮的?
那个？那个是...
是…有点俗气啦
不俗气
不会…对道上兄弟来讲不会
够帅的你一定撇了不少鲫吧?
亲爱的
这是什么?
你以前的东西
亲爱的，我们要给你一个惊喜
你房间要改成健身房了
的确是个惊喜
只有个小问题为何不挑哥的房间?
那我们也讨论过了…
…但你哥哥有那么多的科学奖杯，奖牌，还有优点勋章...
我们不想去惊动它们
老天也不准
我们很遗憾你父母分开的消息
他们只是分居谁知道呢，看看吧
老实说，我们一点也不惊讶
从我们认识他们开始他们就一直很不快乐
特别是在夏威夷那件事之后
哪件事啊?
没什么啦…定是我想到别人去了
或许是我
你不是要叠衣服吗?
快去吧，去叠呀
还要再加一点吗?不用了，谢谢
你得再给我一点时间我要学得逼真一点
老兄啊，十一点方向有个惹火女郎在看着你
学得很不错我想我可以去变性了
我知道你在想什么汤达夫温蒂的创办人，对吧?
我叫盖儿
我真的必须走了很高兴认识你
真是太好了
他可以送我录影机或是一对高尔夫球杆也可以
看了碍眼，戴了碍事儿
没那么惨啦对，你当然说得容易了
你又不用走来走去炫耀怪头不要的东西
“我可怜戴着首饰的笨蛋”
“我可怜戴着...”
兄弟，我们正在玩…名人模仿秀呢
表演你的马歇马叟
模仿得很像呢
你看看那个家伙
他跟她已经说了多久废话了?
滚开吧，兄弟她只是服务生，又不是艺妓
我想她没有关系吧
你看看…
你看她把他推开，他还不滚
我要采取行动了
我们可以在山上…
…租个公寓滑进滑出，棒透了
对不起，你是瑞秋吗?
什么?
我叫盖勒罗斯
广告里说你很漂亮，但是…哇
你…你在干嘛?
老天，不是今天吗?
我真不敢相信
这件事如果成了的话将来跟孙子们就有话讲了
对呀
对了，我该走了
保重了
慢走，再见
不客气
我是在救你呀
救我?让我不用跟有趣的男人愉快地交谈?
从我坐的那边看起来…
罗斯，你现在听我说
我不是要你救的人
但是你是呀
什么?
你是我的龙虾
你知道吗?你又在装跟我盲目约会了
不…你是…你是我的龙虾
龙虾...
…在水缸里，老的时候
…它们会…它们爪牵爪散步
在水缸里…
…爪子牵着爪子…
菲此，帮我解释一下龙虾的事，好不好?
再表演一次爪子
瑞秋，忘了龙虾的事吧
我们...那我们呢？
罗斯，没有“我们”
你听我说
我爱上了你，然后我受伤了
然后你爱上我结果我还是受伤了
我受够了伤害
根本就不值得
但是...但
没有“但是”了，罗斯
我们是永远不可能的，接受吧
除非什么呢?
不...
接受吧
老兄，你看，我的好兄弟你怎么了?
你这个马歇马叟真是模仿得越来越好了
乔伊，我们去打球，怎么样?你跟我，你说怎么样啊?
是我不好
你要是那么讨厌那只手镯你应该直说就可以了
我戴着这么讨厌的手镯…
…那不就证明了我有多么重视我们之间的友谊了吗?
那你侮辱这只手镯还有你嘲笑我的那件事呢?
所以说，我是个混蛋嘛
不过我希望你不要往那个方向想，好吗?
你不要这样嘛我已经向你道过一百次歉了
我保证以后手镯不离…
…手
如果你要留在那里生气的话…
…那你就留在里面好了
你知道吗?最…
我向你下跪了…
…我举着这些沙发垫子…
…表示我对你的歉意还有悔恨
跟古时候的人一样
你现在虽然很生气…
那葛拉芙的玻璃还不错啊
说说而已嘛，就在电视土
各位
亲爱的
我孙子呢?你没有带他来啊?
不，他在…凯洛跟苏珊那儿
我公司有一个女同性恋
说说而已
杰克，你看你觉得很好笑的油漆广告来了
你到哪儿去了?人间炼狱
他们有没有借你钱?
没有，我还没有开口
去呀，摩妮卡，说呀
爸，妈
摩妮卡有事要找你们
抱歉我以前没有告诉你们…
…我现在…并没有在工作因为我必须离职
为什么?
公司的决定
你被炒鱿鱼那你现在怎么办呢?
芙蒂，放心啦这可是我们的小妮妮宝贝儿
我们教导有方
薪水的百分之十上哪儿去了?存银行了
就是嘛，所以她在吃她的老本存钱本来就是应急的
她不会有事的
如果那些钱还不够用的话…
你知道哪里有钱呀…
有大张一点的吗?
我真不敢相信
你停一下，好不好?
不要再怨天尤人了，高兴一点
你说得对，我应该高兴一点的
忘了我刚才白花花的四百大洋去买一个我恨的手镯这件事
逗我开心啊
嘿
我这儿有个包你大乐的东西
猜根特刚找到什么了?
你现在有两个了
我该如何是好?
你怎么有两个?
这个是送你的
少来了
我没办法
我知道这对你的意义重大…
…我也知道不只是首饰而已
这是关于你跟我还有我们是“好兄弟”
这叫友谊吗?我觉得应该是
我们是手镯兄弟
大家都会这样叫我们的
好了，拿去吧随你什么时候还都可以
你用恐龙支票?
对啊，你不但得到钱还可以学到一点东西
这有什么不对的?
没什么…
你是小器龙
开玩笑…谢谢，我很感激你
摩妮卡，这是什么东西啊?
我高中时代的泳衣啊那个时候比较胖
我还以为是康乃狄克州雨天用的遮雨棚呢
摩妮卡，这带子里有什么?
不知道，问倒我了放来看看
这边，杰克
瑞秋穿着粉蓝色出来了
好漂亮，是不是?
过来拍她
过来拍她
你鼻子怎么回事啊?
我隔膜长歪了不得已，只好去缩鼻了
我错了那才是康乃狄克州的遮雨棚呢
知道这是什么吗?毕业舞会前的准备
各位，我们不用看这个
我们要看…当然要看
看嘛，很好玩的
你有没有拍摩妮卡?
摩妮卡在哪儿?
这里啊，老爸
等一等，镜头怎么伸缩?
拍到了
那个女的吃了摩妮卡
闭嘴啦，上镜头会多十磅的
那到底有几个镜头在拍你?
你好漂亮哦
你也是好美啊
糟了，怎么了？
我想我的美乃滋沾到你了
没关系啦只是肩膀，没弄到衣服啊
你们笑一笑
爸，关掉啦
关了
爸，你没关，那红灯亮着
那表示关了
罗斯
很帅嘛
你今天晚上很漂亮谢谢
你今年夏天要做什么?你知道的，只是…
…在家里待着玩我的音乐
我钩子没钩吗?袖子一直掉下来，没办法固定
我看看，不知道
今年夏天你要做…
他们来了
…什么?
玩你的音乐?
天啊，你们看，是古洛伊耶
洛伊看“昨际大战”看了317次
他的名字还上了报
奇普呢?他为什么还没来?
他会来的，放心吧
好了
我刚告诉瑞秋洛伊摸我的咪咪
没男伴我去不成毕业舞会来不及了
你不去，我也不要去了
我要奇普好看
我有个很棒的主意
你可以陪瑞秋去参加舞会啊
我很怀疑
杰克，那个给我你跟儿子去谈一谈
这玩意儿好重
你妈说得对，带她去穿我的礼服
爸，她不会想跟我去的
她当然会，你是大学生呀
我不知道
你不想弄清楚吗?
真不敢相信我去不成自己的毕业舞会
这太残酷了
好，你帮我拿着真有你的…
好了，各位，我想我们看够了
我们把它关掉吧
那好吧，我就不看
来吧，孩子，我们走了
天啊，你真帅，去给他们看看
等一下，爸
要酷...
好了，老爸
瑞秋，准备好你的白马王子来了
糟了
别等我们回来了
走了，奇普，快
天啊哪一个?怎么按啊?
杰克，这个怎么关啊?
按按钮
哪个钮？
那个拉...
真不敢相信你那么做了
是呀…
瞧，他是她的龙虾
跟他跳
妈，我饿了
跟你爸跳
我或许不会跳什么闪舞啦不过我也绝不是个省油的灯
好吧
克蒂
