六人行第二季-第 16 课-The One Where Dr.Remore Dies
The One Where Dr. Remore Dies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone except Ross is there watching Days of Our Lives.]
AMBER: Oh Drake.
DR. REMORE: I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word.
[Ross enters]
ROSS: I'm sorry I'm late, what happened?
MONICA: We, we just wanna see the end.
AMBER: I want you Drake.
DR. REMORE: I know you do but you and I can never be together that way.
AMBER: What?
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
[Everyone gasps. The show ends.]
RACHEL: So what happens next?
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
CHANDLER: God that is good TV.
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
CHANDLER: Phoebs, play with meeee.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
CHANDLER: Ah he's a, he's not a big fan of foosball.
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
CHANDLER: No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]
EDDIE: What was that?
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
EDDIE: Yeah alright, that sounds alright.
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
CHANDLER: That was so lame.
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler and Eddie are talking.]
EDDIE: That's good, that's good. So, so, so who broke up with who?
CHANDLER: What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
EDDIE: That's good man, when everybody knows that the uh, the capital of Cambodia is uh...
CHANDLER: Well it's not Sean Penn.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
RICHARD: Phoebe's got another job, right?
RACHEL: Great set tonight Phoebs.
PHOEBE: I know.
ROSS: Well, we should probably get going.
RICHARD: Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
RICHARD: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
ROSS: My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.
MONICA: Shut up, I'm happy.
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
RICHARD: Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.
PHOEBE: Ok.
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
MONICA: Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.
RACHEL: Phoebe's dead.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
TILLY: Hi.
CHANDLER: Hi.
TILLY: I'm looking for Eddie Minowick.
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
TILLY: Thanks.
CHANDLER: Oh, oh, c'mon in.
TILLY: I'm Tilly.
CHANDLER: Oh.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
TILLY: He's kind of intense huh?
CHANDLER: Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...
EDDIE: [walks around corner] A little what?
CHANDLER: Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie.
EDDIE: Hello Tilly.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
EDDIE: That's very thoughtful of you. It's very thougtful.
TILLY: Well, ok then. I'm gonna go. Bye.
EDDIE: Bye-bye.
CHANDLER: Bye.
[Tilly leaves]
CHANDLER: So, we gettin' a fish?
EDDIE: You had sex with her didn't you?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
JOEY: Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
PHOEBE: Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.
JOEY: Page 42, page 42, page 42.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
PHOEBE: Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
WRITER: Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. The next script is being delivered.]
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
DELIVERY GUY: Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts.
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
DELIVERY GUY: Right. Could you sign this?
JOEY: No. No way, I'm not signing that.
DELIVERY GUY: I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
DELIVERY GUY: Er, uh, I'm just gonna go. Sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
ROSS: G'night.
RICHARD: Night Richard. Good luck Mon.
MONICA: Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.
RICHARD: Two.
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
[Rachel's bedroom]
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
RACHEL: Uhhhooo.
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
RACHEL: Well, there's you.
ROSS: Better not be doin' these in order.
RACHEL: Ok, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carney, Barry, and uh, oh, Paolo.
ROSS: Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini.
RACHEL: Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.
ROSS: Really?
RACHEL: Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
CHANDLER: Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
EDDIE: That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.
CHANDLER: This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.
EDDIE: Where's Buddy?
CHANDLER: Buddy?
EDDIE: My fish, Buddy.
CHANDLER: There was no fish when she dropped it off.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
MONICA: Well yeah.
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
MONICA: You really ok with it?
RICHARD: Oh honey, I'm fine.
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
MONICA: Well, it just seems like a really small number.
RICHARD: Right, and...
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
MONICA: But you've only slept with two people.
RICHARD: Right.
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
ROSS: Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
ROSS: Knock-knock.
RACHEL: But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had.
ROSS: Until now. [jumps on Rachel on the bed]
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
RACHEL: Oh, hi.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
RACHEL: Oh my God, honey that's great.
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
MONICA: You need one too?
RACHEL: Ooooh yeah.
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
MONICA: There's only one.
RICHARD: Monica.
MONICA: Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. [shuts the bathroom door]
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
RICHARD: No.
ROSS: Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?
RICHARD: I have a little comb.
ROSS: Oh. And what do you call that?
RICHARD: A moustache comb.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
MONICA: No.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
RACHEL: Agghhh.
ROSS: So were you in Nam?
RACHEL: Rock-paper-scissors?
MONICA: Yeah.
RACHEL and MONICA: One two three. [Rachel picks rock, Monica picks scissors]
RACHEL: Yeesss.
MONICA: Fine, go have sex.
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
RACHEL: Honey.
ROSS: What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]
RICHARD: Shall we?
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]
CHANDLER: So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
MONICA: Why?
CHANDLER: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
PHOEBE: Why would you kill his fish?
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
ROSS: Yeah.
MONICA: Wait, he's not here yet.
RACHEL: So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
ROSS: Yeah.
MONICA: Alright.
CHANDLER: Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
RACHEL: Oh good.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
AMBER: Oh Drake.
DR HORTON: Hard day huh? First the medical award, this.
DR. REMORE: Some guys are just lucky I guess.
INTERCOM: Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat.
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
DR. HORTON: No, no, they only said you.
DR. REMORE: Oh, ok. Alright.
AMGER: I love you Drake.
DR. REMORE: Yeah, whatever. Oh no.
AMBER: Drake, look out.
DR. REMORE: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Everyone is outside knocking.]
ROSS: C'mon.
RACHEL: Joey.
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
RACHEL: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
CHANDLER: We're worried about you.
MONICA: And some of us really have to pee.
[Joey opens the door]
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
JOEY: Hey.
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
CHANDLER: We came over as soon as we saw.
ROSS: How could you not tell us?
JOEY: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
CHANDLER: It's gonna be ok. You know that?
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry man.
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: Uhhhaahh.
EDDIE: Pecan sandy, just made em.
CHANDLER: Yeah alright. What're these, raisins?
EDDIE: Uh, sure, why not.
CHANDLER: [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
EDDIE: What's you point man?
CHANDLER: Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
ROSS: Hey.
RICHARD: Hey.
ROSS: Hey.
RICHARD: Ohh, brisk tonight.
ROSS: Oh man.
RICHARD: Let's never speak of this.
ROSS: You got it.
END
老兄，这好畸形哦
你知不知道脆脆上尉的眉毛长在帽子上?
那叫畸型?
乔伊，那家伙当了四十年早餐片的上尉
怎样?
汤匙，你舔完放回去
你舔完放回去
所以呢?
你看不出那很呕心吗?那就像你用我的牙刷一样
你用我的牙刷?
那是因为我用红的那只去通排水孔嘛
红色是我的
发就不可收拾了
为什么牙刷不能共享…
…肥皂就可以共享?
因为肥皂是肥皂，会自我清洁
好吧，下一次你洗澡的时候…
…想想我什么最后洗跟你什么最先洗
瞧你们打扮的
有什么大事?
知道我节目里那个演昏迷不醒的?
他要请我吃饭
就等你了，好的
真不敢相信你们真的要去刺青了
你们要去刺青?
对，不能告诉罗斯我要给他一个惊喜
好狂野哦，你们要刺什么?
我要刺一朵百合
因为我妈就叫百合
真幸运她要是叫大污点怎么办?
那你们要刺哪里?我想在我眉上
什么?
什么在你眉上?
重担
是刺青，我要去刺青啦刺青?
你为什么要那么做?
你不觉得那酷吗?
不，抱歉，我不觉得
怎么会有人花钱去搞个一辈子的伤痕?
万一要是刺得不好呢?
那不是变成永远在“我头发剪丑了”吗?
大家为什么都瞪着我?
罗斯，过来签给爸的生日卡理查德德随时会到
理查德德也要去参加派对?
他是我父母最好的朋友他必须去
那你打算今天告诉他们你们的事吗?
对，我爸的生日我决定送他中风
不，你应该告诉他们
我还不知道他对我有多认真在搞清楚之前，我什么也不说
我不知道，我想他们不会介意
记得你九岁理查德德三十岁的时，爸常说…
…“天啊真希望他们在一起”
好了，进去吧
雷
你知道吗?
罗斯，我们换位置你来站中间
不，这看起来像我们想隐瞒什么
摩妮卡，就算你骑着他进去他们也不会相信的
我们来了
孩子们，是孩子们
生日快乐，爸爸谢谢
生日快乐
你们谢过柏大夫载你们来了吗?
妈，事实上摩妮卡帮我们两个谢过了
你们搭火车来吗?
不，柏理查德德载他们来的
谈到他呀...
…听说他在城里有个二十岁的幼齿
手指抽筋，抱歉
来，让我来，妈
理查德德在青少年部“购物”
还在讲那个吗?
想也知道她的智商一定超低
说不定连漂亮都谈不上
只是够年轻所以一切都还没下垂
你相信这个地方吗?
我知道，这个公寓很棒
我刚去过浴室两边墙上都有镜子
尿尿的时候就好像有一排人在排排尿
我的梦想实现了
不，说真的
我们正在赞美你的公寓，老兄
谢了，你要吗?
我要搬去一个更大的
你真的应该租下来
你看我会住这种地方吗?
有何不可呢?你讨厌公园景观跟高天花板吗?
来吧，我带你去看厨房
不用了，兄弟我今早在电视上…
…看过一个厨房
不要再说了
来嘛，告诉我们对，她真只有二十?
你们休想这我说什么
来嘛，理查德德，今天是我生E让我过一下干瘾嘛
爸，你真的不会想那样做
跟朋友分享一下你的中年危机嘛
杰克，你别说了，好吗?
我了解你在做什么我五十时买了部保时捷
你有自己的小“加速器”
各位，说真的，不是像那样这样吧
或许找个周末我车子借你，你的小…
爸，我求你不要说完那个句子
怎么?我在逗他
我才不会让他碰我的保时捷
阿秋
哪一朵百合?这一朵或那一朵?
我喜欢这朵
开得比较大，就像我妈
她有比较开放给子的精神
雾号麦杆
金发的，你去第二间
没那么金的，你跟我来
走吧
你不进去?
怎么了?是因为罗斯的话吗?
是啦，或许我真不敢相信
你们的关系这样维持吗?罗斯是老板?
少来了现在是1922年吗?
1922年有什么?
只是很久以前嘛
当时是女人很多事得听男人的时代
然后还有投票权那是件好事
你到底要不要刺?
我要啊，只是罗斯他…
你男友是你的老板吗?
那好，谁是你的老板?
你?
不，你是你的老板
你现在给我进去把那颗红心刺上去
你怎么了?
我是个幼齿
真的?我是英雄
这好难哦
是呀，我知道，我也讨厌这样
听着，或许我们应该说出来
或许我们应该先告诉你父母
我父母死了
你真幸运
不，我是说，你懂我意思
忍耐一下，好吗?
我先出去，好吗?
芙蒂，上洗手间呀，有你的
谢谢，理查德德，很感激你的支持
蜜糖
你有没有看到我的奇哈蒙球棒老鲍不相信我有
我不知道
你知道理查德德在城里有个幼齿吗?
我知道，他像个全新的男人好像进了“魔茧”一样
我怎么也无法幻想理查德德和小笨妹在一起
显然他告诉沙强尼那个女孩不错
事实上，他告诉强尼他想他爱上她了
真的?告诉你，我没见他这么快乐过
杰克...
…你有没有想过拿我去换个年轻小妞儿?
当然没有
你不就等于两个二五佳人?
杰克，住手
来嘛
今天是我生日
别说了，好吗?
我对那家伙的公寓没兴趣
拜托，我看到你检查他房子装饰的样子
你想要
我干嘛要另外一个房子?
我已经有个我爱的房子了
是嘛，偶尔这样说说又不会死
好吧，想听实话吗?我的确在考虑
什么？抱歉
我今年28了从没自己住过…
…而我终于赚到足够的钱…
…可以让我不再需要室友
我也不需要室友啊
自己住这里我也负担得起
我或许一个礼拜得请一次人来舔我的餐具
你老兄火气干嘛那么大
我们又没说要永远住在一起
我们又不是连体婴
知道吗?
如果你这样觉得…
…那或许你应该搬去
我是那样觉得那或许你应该搬去
那或许我会
那好，很好
你就有多点时间跟你真正的朋友混…
…你的汤匙
谁还要加点饮料?
快要切蛋糕了
摩妮卡?你还好吗?
记得我发现爸妈的那卷录影带吗?
我刚看了现场秀
没什么我刚听到你的好话
真的？
你儿子现在没女朋友吧?据我所知，没有
我是在想…他何不打个电话给摩妮卡?
那…是个主意
事实上，我已经有男友了
是吗?
这孩子什么事都不讲
罗斯你知道摩妮卡有男友了吗?
妈，我周遭有好多好多人
有些人有男朋友，有些人没有
那是水晶的吗?
那个神秘男子是谁?
他是个医生
真正的医生?
不，他是研究肉的
他当然是真的医生
他很英俊
人很好我知道你会喜欢他
那太棒了
妈，没关系
没错，芙蒂
杰克
请你进来一下，好吗?
现在
你女儿跟理查德德看来似乎是一对
那不可能，他在城里有个幼齿
爸，我是那个幼齿
你是那个幼齿?她不是个幼齿
好吧，听着，各位这是我有过最棒的关系…
拜托，关系?
对，关系
你们请听好我为这个男人疯狂
真的？
我生日还要站在这里听你说这些鬼话吗?
这是件好事，你自己也说你没见理查德德那么快乐过
我何时说的?
楼上的浴室啊，你摸妈之前
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐，杰克
祝你生日快乐
好漂亮哦，我好喜欢
我知道，我也是菲此，我好高兴你这我刺
让我看你的
再瞧瞧你的
菲此，我的才刚看过让我看你的
不...
不见了，好古怪哦
不知道去哪里了
你没刺?
你为什么没刺?
对不起…
菲此，你怎么可以这样对我?这全是你的主意
我知道…我本来是要刺的可是他拿着针走进来
你知道他们是用针刺的吗?
真的?真的吗?
因为我的是猫舔上去的
听着，今天的事我很抱歉…
我也是我知道
我们需要抱一下吗?
不，没关系
我有东西送你
塑胶汤匙
太棒了，舔吧，老兄
这在我的新家会很好用先应付应付
什么?
我不能永远用塑胶汤匙这不环保
不…我是说…你说什么新家?
我要搬出去，像我们谈过的
我不知道你是认真的
我以为我们只是在吵架
我们是在吵架
…有根有据的，记得吗?
关于我从没一个人住过
我只是想，这对我有好处帮我成长…
…之类的
那就是了
这你没问题吧?
我不想让你觉得被遗弃了
不，我也不会觉得更愉快的
我不要紧的我就把你的房间…
…改成游戏室之类的好了
把足球桌放在里面
那桌子为什么该归你?
我付了一半的钱
对，我付了另一半
这样吧，谁赢谁的
好呀，没问题
我可以抽出时间来痛宰你一顿
我得的分会此你妹被上过的次数还多
哪一个妹妹?
你后悔我告诉他们吗?
不，我跟你爸好久没去跑步了
你们刺了吗?给我看
罗斯在吗?不在，他去买披萨
下就好
好漂亮
很有品味
要看我的吗?…
什么?你又没刺
那这是什么?
我们在看什么?
那颗蓝雀斑?
那是我的刺青
那不是刺青，那什么也不是
我终于这她回去再刺…
…针根本都还没碰到她她就跳起来尖叫逃走
嗨
这正是我想要听到的
这是个从很远的地方看到的地球
我妈从天堂看到我就是这样的
真是狗屁一堆
那是一个点
你妈正在天堂上大叫“我的百合在哪里?狗熊”
菲此，那不是个刺青这才是个刺青
你去刺青了?
或许
只是个小的啦菲此刺了全世界
让我看看
怎样?
怎样?
性感
我没想到会这样，但
...哇
真的？
对，所以会酸痛吗?你可以活动吗?
可以吧
留些披萨给我们
别窝在角落
传球...
别跟你的人讲话
帅，桌子是我的了
恭喜了
你们还是会来看我，对吧?
会呀，你有大萤幕电视
我们会常常去的
除了在这里时
我知道你只是往北搬我还是会很想你的
你怎会不再是我的对门芳邻了?
是呀，谁来吃光我们的东西占用我们的电话…
那是我的胸罩吗?
你拿我的胸罩去干嘛?不…你想歪了
我们用那个来在屋顶上弹水球
记得吗?那些初中生连弹到对面都办不到
是呀，我记得
把剩下的搬上卡车
你要我…
…帮你搬这个足球桌下去吗?
不了，你留着，你需要练习
谢了
所以...
…我猜就这样了
是呀，对
大概吧
我不知道我们何时会再见?
我猜今晚在咖啡馆?
对呀
保重了
