六人行第二季-第 18 课-The One Where Old Yeller Dies
The One Where Old Yeller Dies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
PHOEBE: Hey. Watcha guys doin?
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
PHOEBE: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
PHOEBE: What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?
RACHEL: That's not the end.
PHOEBE: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV]
[Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
[Chandler and Joey come sprinting in]
JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over.
MONICA: Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing.
CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's Eric.
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony]
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
JOEY: I don't know.
MONICA: C'mon. Keeps his fingers to himself and he's always minty fresh.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off]
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is holding Ben.]
ROSS: [smells Ben's butt] No no, you're fine, you're fine.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
ROSS: Hi.
SUSAN: Hey.
CAROL: Hi honey.
ROSS: Oh you guys are not gonna believe what happened.
CAROL: What?
SUSAN: What?
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there. Phoebe enters carrying video tapes.]
PHOEBE: Hey.
RACHEL: Hey Phoebs, whatcha got there?
PHOEBE: Ok, Love Story, Brian's Song, and Terms of Endearment.
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
[Chandler and Joey enter]
CHANDLER: Hey.
JOEY: Hey.
RACHEL: Hey.
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
MONICA: So'd you guys have fun?
CHANDLER: Your boyfriend is so cool.
MONICA: Really?
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
RACHEL: Wow, he must like you the best.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
CHANDLER: You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car [passes the dollar back].
JOEY: No problem. Hey Chandler
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
JOEY: Ok.
[Richard enters]
CHANDLER: There's the man.
JOEY: He-he-eyy. [Shakes his had and passes the dollar]
RICHARD: Hey, you're gettin' better. I'm gonna keep this by the way.
JOEY: Ok. He kept my dollar.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
CAROL: Uh, we're going down to Colonial Williamsburg.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
CAROL: Think I better go before mommy starts weeping.
ROSS: Buy mommy.
CAROL and SUSAN: We love you. Buy.
ROSS: Have a good time. Ok, Ben.
MONICA: Ross.
ROSS: Yeah.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
JOEY: Not like him, per-se, just not un-like him.
[Chandler enters with his hair full of mousse and a cheesy moustache]
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
CHANDLER: Just tryin' somethin' here, ya know.
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
JOEY: Yeah, we're goin' to a Ranger game.
CHANDLER: Yeah, didn't he tell ya?
MONICA: Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys.
CHANDLER: You hear that? We're the guys.
JOEY: We're the guys.
MONICA: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia?
ROSS: Thank you.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
RACHEL: No luck huh?
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok. [she takes Ben and holds him at arms length]
ROSS: What're you doing?
RACHEL: Uh, I'm holding Ben.
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
RACHEL: Ok.
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go.
RACHEL: Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good with babies. I mean I haven't been around them, I mean, you know, since I was one.
ROSS: It's alright, it's no big deal.
RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: What?
RACHEL: You think about stuff like that?
ROSS: Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies.
RACHEL: Two, two babies?
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
RACHEL: Then what's gonna happen?
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
RACHEL: Uh-huh.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
RACHEL: Wow. Wow, that's great. Great. Ok, wow, you know what.
ROSS: Huh?
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are there. Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Hey.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
MONICA: Alright, you wanna feel better?
PHOEBE: Yeah.
MONICA: Ok, here, watch this.
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
MONICA: So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in.
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
MONICA: There's a game?
CHANDLER: Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
MONICA: Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks.
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
MONICA: Oh, then go Vassar.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
MONICA: Ok, then just go.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
PHOEBE: Sure.
MONICA: It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do?
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
RACHEL: [enters] Aghh.
PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves]
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
ROSS: Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
ROSS: C'mon, what, you never think about our future?
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
RACHEL: What was the book?
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
ROSS: Yeah.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
ROSS: Ok fine.
RACHEL: Thank you.
ROSS: We're not done.
RACHEL: I didn't know that.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
RACHEL: Fine, I will.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
ROSS: Yeah.
RACHEL: Well I love you too.
ROSS: Well that's the first time we've said that.
RACHEL: Yes it is.
ROSS: Well, I'm gonna kiss you.
RACHEL: Well you better.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen, Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
MONICA: Did you like it?
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
MONICA: Alright, I'll give you the ear thing but don't you think the ending was pretty wonderful?
PHOEBE: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
CHANDLER: Kick save and... denied.
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table.
RICHARD: Ok, just one more point.
MONICA: [grabs the other two bars on Richard's side and scores] Score! Now can we go?
CHANDLER: See, that's why we don't let her play.
RICHARD: Is everything all right?
MONICA: Um-hmm.
RICHARD: Uh-oh.
CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
JOEY: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with.
RICHARD: Well.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
RICHARD: Uh, you guys see me as a dad?
JOEY: Oh yeah.
CHANDLER: No.
JOEY: Nooooo.
CHANDLER: Your just, your just clearly not familiar with our young persons vernacular. See, when we say dad, we mean buddy. We mean pal.
RICHARD: Uh-huh, yeah.
CHANDLER: No no, seriously, Joey's my dad, Monica's my dad. I've even got some dads down at work.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
MONICA: Nighty-nite.
CHANDLER: You're not a dad. You're not a dad.
JOEY: Not a dad.
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
MONICA: Come here. I'll make you feel like one of the guys. You know for a really cool guy, you suck at foosball.
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel is changing Ben's diaper under Ross's supervision.]
ROSS: Ok, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail.
RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
ROSS: [doorbell buzzes] Hello.
CAROL: It's us.
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
BEN: Hi.
RACHEL: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Did you just say hi? Oh my God, Ross, Ross, Ben just said 'Hi'.
ROSS: Wha, what?
RACHEL: Ben just said hi.
ROSS: What, the word hi?
RACHEL: Ye-, no, my Uncle Hi.
ROSS: Great, great, and I miss that too, I miss everything.
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just bring it out in him.
CAROL and SUSAN: Hello.
RACHEL: Guess what. Ben just said his first word.
CAROL: What did he say?
ROSS: Something about hi.
SUSAN: That's so exciting.
CAROL: Mommy is so proud of you. Hi. Hi.
RACHEL: You know, actually it's more like, hi.
CAROL: Hi.
RACHEL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
RACHEL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
RACHEL: Hi.
CAROL: Hi.
SUSAN: Ok, this could go on for a while.
CAROL: We've got a cab waiting downstairs.
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
CAROL: Tuesday.
ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys.
RACHEL: Take care.
ROSS: Bye Ben.
BEN: Bye.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
SUSAN: Suddenly I'm seeing him go off to college.
CAROL: We've gotta go, we've got that cab waiting.
ROSS: Alright, alright, ok. Bye.
BEN: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
BEN: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
BEN: Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
ERNIE: Oh wow, look at this nice deep hole I've been digging. Hey Bert, isn't this a nice hole here. Hey.
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
PHOEBE: Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
END
崔克，抱歉，安珀
布莱就是这样子，嘴巴不认输
抱歉，我迟到了，怎么样?
我们在看结局
我要你，崔克
这个我知道
但我们永远不可能会有结果的
什么?
有件事我一直没有告诉你
我是你的异母哥哥
那后来怎么样呢?
我帮连体婴动分割手术得了医学奖
然后我跟安珀去委内瑞拉找另外一个异母哥哥雷蒙…
…我找到了世界最大的翡翠那真的很大
好酷喔
天啊，真是个好节目
菲菲，跟我玩嘛
不，这种游戏太畸型了
居然把二十个手无寸铁的男人串成一长条…
…被迫无止境地踢足球
简直是侵害人权嘛
不要为他们难过等他们踢完足球之后…
…我把小塑胶妞拿出来大家都会非常开心的呀
你干嘛不跟你室友玩?
他不爱玩桌上足球
你跟那个新来的处得不好吗?
不是啊，他很好，只是多数的时间都关在房间里
我想那也许是因为你没有花时间去了解他
我们来补救，好不好?
我们不需要补救要啊，会很好玩的
什么事?
我只是想我们三人来喝点啤酒彼此了解一下会很有意思
好呀
听起来不错
不行，我得走了因为我还要赶去
…“绿蛋与火腿”的研讨会
今天晚上主题是…“为什么不在火车上吃呢?”
好好玩，拜拜，好滥的借口
我知道
你跟他谈
你想那个赛车手被开了多少罚单啊…?
好笑…谁甩了谁啊?
我甩了她呀
她真的以为西恩潘是高棉的首都
有没有搞错?大家都知道高棉的首都是…
不是西恩潘
好，我有个好笑的
好，我前任的女友叫提莉我们在吃早餐
我做了很多薄松饼大概有五十多个吧
突然间她转过来她就说“艾迪…
…我不想再跟你见面了”
那就好像是她把手伸进我的胸膛里…
…挖出了我的心把我的生活搞得乱七八糟的
那就像我面前有一个深渊我就一直往下掉
我就一直往下掉永无止境地往下掉
这个故事不太好笑，是不是?
那个坏脾气老头说我尽量
其它老鼠开始摇响葫芦
唱完了，谢谢，晚安
菲此有别的工作吧?
唱得很好，菲菲
我知道
我想我们该走了
我们也该走了明天早上八点还有病人
知道吗?我在想我们老是在你那边过夜
或许今晚改住我那边啊
我不知道，我没有带我的睡衣
或许你不需要
我的小妹妹，各位先生女士
闭嘴，我很快乐
这太棒了我必须说几句话
我只是想说，在摩妮卡交过的为数众多的男友当中…
…我最喜欢你了
谢谢你，菲菲，嘴真甜
听到了吗?
她最喜欢我而且你显然阅人无数
没有啦
菲此在说笑吧，菲此是疯子
菲此死定了
我来找一位曼艾迪
他现在不在，我叫钱德
要我帮你留话还是…拿鱼缸呢?
谢了
请进
我叫提莉
看你这个样子他一定跟你提过我了
提过，你的大名在一段…
…令我惊心动魄的对话哮曾经出现过了
他这人有点激烈吧
对呀，请问你艾迪是不是有一点…
有一点怎么样?
…有点乡村?
快进来呀，室友
提丽
艾迪，我只是把鱼缸送过来
你想得真是周到
非常体贴
就这样了
我要走了，再见
那么我们养鱼了，是不是?
你们上床了，是不是?
菲菲，你看…
“肥皂剧文摘”我最喜欢的文摘之42页，
医界新秀“我们的日子”崔乔伊
好酷的照片
我好帅
这是真的吗?很多台词都是你自己写的吗?
可以这么说啦
像你记得上礼拜亚历出了事那一集吗?
剧本上的台词是…
…“我们不送这女人去医院的话，她会死的”
被我改成了“这个女人不去医院就医的话…
…她会活不成的”
我懂你做了什么了
那你不十的6些编剧看到这篇文章会有点生气吗?
我倒没有考虑到那些编剧剧本总是送来我家
但你知道么？
这样让我很有面子也因为这样子，节目有面子…
…也因为这样子，编剧有面子他们怎么可能会生我的气呢?
我们的日子
他编了自己大部份的台词
很好…
写这个，混蛋
我跌下了电梯井
这什么意思?我跌下了电梯井
我不知道，我只是送剧本过来
他们不能杀我我是兰琪失散的儿子呀
对
请你签收，好吗?
我才不签呢
我不认为对那个节目的剧情会有影响啊
他们怎么能这么对我?
我要走了
很遗憾
也没有那么多个啦
我是说，如果你考虑到全世界有多少男人…
…那个比例非常小
没什么大不了的我只是…好奇罢了
晚安，晚安，理查德德
祝你好运，摩妮卡
好，我说之前你先说你有过几个女人
两个
两个？…
那怎么可能?…
…你知道你长得有多帅吗?
我能说什么呢?
我跟芭芭拉做了三十年的夫妻我们在高中就认识了
加上你，一共两个
那就两个吧
我要去刷牙了
你先等一等
来啊，换你了
快说呀
我也不需要知道确实的数目只要差不多就可以了
绝对比一个“大厦”还要少
真庆幸现在我不是摩妮卡
那还用说
你的神奇数字是多少?
来嘛，我交过的你都认识两个你都认识
有你
最好不要说我是第一个
崔此利，柯彼得
贝利
还有…保罗
对，托里尼来的蠢蛋
蜜糖，你嫉妒保罗吗?
跟他从没像跟你在一起这么快乐过
真的？拜托
跟保罗那一段根本就不能算
那只能算是无意义的野兽的性关系
我这么说让我自己觉得好多了
艾迪我没有跟你的前任女友上床
有意思，因为跟她上过床的人都会这么说
你疯了，你疯了，是不是?她只来了两分钟而已…
…丢下鱼缸就走了就是这样
巴迪在哪里?
巴迪?
我的鱼巴迪
她根本就没有带鱼来里面没有任何东西
这真令人难以置信
你先跟我的前任女友上床以为我会笨到去相信你的谎言
然后你杀了我的鱼我的巴迪?
我没有杀你的鱼啊
你听我说，艾迪…
你看我在做什么，好不好?
那样太不聪明了
所以我们要把那个家伙给拿开…
…把它放到我的口袋先生里
来个橘子吧
就这样吗?害怕告诉我的庞大数目吗?
那还好嘛
我是说，你害我以为你有一“托拉库”的人
你真的觉得没关系?
亲爱的，没关系
对了，关于那两个…
什么?
好吧
我的“两个”怎么样?
只是听起来真的好少喔
对呀
我是说，难道你没有欲望到处去采花吗?
你现在就是在那样对我吗?天啊，我是花吗?
亲爱的，你不是被采的花
我不知道我猜我不是那一型的
我只跟我爱的女人上床
但是你只跟两个人上过床
对
你一定知道我也爱你吧?
现在我知道了
罗斯…拜托听我说
罗斯，你此保罗好太多了
我是说，你关心我我心中有爱，你会逗我笑
那样的话，我有个主意
你可以邀请保罗过来在床上野兽一下…
…而我就站在角落讲敲门的笑话
罗斯，我们的感情很特别我跟保罗有的只是…
“野兽的性关系”?
所以你什么意思呢?
你是说我们之间就没有任何“兽性”的东西吗
连一点点…一点兽性都没有?
甚至连…像
…花粟鼠性
拜托，你听我说
我不想对你说谎
跟保罗的性很好敲敲门
但我们两个之间的比那好多了
我们有温柔，我们有亲密我们灵犀相通
而且我发誓
我从来没有过…
…像你这么棒的
直到现在
理查德德刚说他爱我
我知道
太棒了
我知道
我只是找不到…在第一个抽屉
你也要啊？对呀
找到了
只有一个
我马上来我们…在决定事情
她们两个在决定事情好，很好
你的…你的小胡子跟以前有不同吗?
你怎么能够保持得那么整齐?
我有一把小梳子
那个梳子叫什么?胡子梳
谢谢
我帮你洗一个月的衣服
我会…我会…
我打扫两个月的房子，如何?
只要你告诉我我们把畚箕放在哪里，这个我现在给你
你有没有打过越战?
剪刀石头布，没问题
一、二、三
太棒了
很好，上床吧
不对，你完完全全搞错了
强沙维奇是“越战猎鹿人”，没有腿
强沃特是“归乡”，腿瘫痪了
你完完全全搞反了，朋友强沃特是…
亲爱的，什么？
进去吧
今晚不可能了
今天晚上他们做我们可以明天再做
下一次的时间表可不可以先让我看看?
我今天早上醒过来的时候…
…发现他偷了我所有的鞋垫
为什么?
那家伙以为我睡了他前任女友而且还杀了他的鱼
你干嘛杀了他的鱼?
菲此，因为有时候你跟人上床之后…
…就必须要杀条鱼
钱德，宝贝…
…抱歉
可以看乔伊的节目了吗?
等等，他还没有到
他知道情节
对了，我不在乎我的问题了
安珀…
…你需要的时候永远有我…
…我是你一辈子的朋友跟兄弟
崔克
辛苦了
先是医学大奖，然后是这个
是呀，我猜有些人天生好运
雷大夫，请到一楼急诊室报到
那么…
…我猜在叫我了
还有谁想坐电梯的?何大夫?华大夫?
他们只叫你一个人啊
好吧
我爱你，崔克
是呀，随便啦
不…
是呀，随便啦
他们刚刚甩了乔伊，不
好像真的
开门，我们想跟你谈一谈
我不想谈
别这样了，乔伊我们关心你
我们很关心你我们有些人真的很急呀
抱歉，乔伊
听着，很遗憾你的死真的很惨耶
我们一看到就赶过来了你怎么不告诉我们呢?
我不知道我有点希望没有人会发现
或许他们可以让你起死回生
他们说当找到我尸体的时候我的脑袋已经摔得稀巴烂了…
…而唯一救得了我的人是我
说是故意要看起来讽刺什么的
乔伊，你不会有事的
你不需要那个节目那只是个蠢的肥皂剧嘛
菲此，那是我这辈子最棒的事
没错，我本来还要那样说的
很好，摩妮卡来了她会说句好听的啦
我把你的浴帘拉直了以免发霉
怎么了?那是好事啊
不要紧的，你也知道嘛
不，我不知道
像你奋斗了一辈子去追求…
…当你认为你办到的时候…
…永远不会像你想的一样好
不过这个是啊
它改变了一切
前几天呢，我去申请信用卡…
…我竟然被保送过关了
我这辈子从没被保送过关过
很遗憾，老兄
乔伊我不知道这对你有没有意义…
…但我们总是会保送你过关
不，那对我没有意义
大胡桃饼，刚出炉的
对，好
这是什么?葡萄干吗?
当然了，有何不可?
听我说，艾迪
我想过我们目前住在一起的情况了
你为什么要笑?
我有个小小的惊喜我买了条新鱼
我叫它…
…钱德，以你为名
那根本不是一条真鱼啊
那是金鱼饼干耶
你要说什么?
晚安了
大自然爱好者
今天晚上好冷，老兄
我们都不要提了没问题
