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The One With The Flashback
[Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.]
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Phoebe: Wow, it抯 like a dirty math problem.
Ross: I抦 sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Joey: Well, that抯 really a different question.
Janice: I抦 sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica and Rachel: What?!!
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no time!
Joey: Okay, but let抯 say there was. How might that go?
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
Rachel: Does anybody need more coffee?
Ross: Yeah, I抣l take some.
Joey: Hey, there抯 a dog out there!
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe抯, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, I抣l be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe I抦 sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: You didn抰 leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Monica: Oh, then it must抳e been you. Bye. (leaves)
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) That抯 why I moved out.
Ross: Hey, y'know while we抮e on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you don抰 live here anymore.
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesn抰 know that you sneak out every night, she doesn抰 know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn抰 know that you抳e been living with your Grandmother抯 for a week now.
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
Chandler: (entering, with a goatee) Hey.
Ross: Hey.
Chandler: I抦 never gonna find a roommate, ever.
Phoebe: Why, nobody good?
Chandler: Well let抯 see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that抯 plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who I抦 not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone 慍handler Bing,?he said 慦hoa-whoa, short message.?br>
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Monica: What?
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Chandler: Umm, how抯 it going with you guys?
Ross: Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately.
Phoebe: Oh, really?
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn抰 really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it抯 gonna make a difference
[Scene: Chandler抯, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Chandler: Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do?
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope that抯 cool.
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister抯 beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, she抯 a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think you抮e chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
[Scene: Chandler抯, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Chandler: (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
Joey: Don抰 you ah, don抰 you wanna ask me any questions?
Chandler: Sure. Ummm. What抯 up?
Joey: Well, ah, I抦 an actor. I抦 fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and don抰 worry I抦 totally okay with the gay thing.
Chandler: What gay thing?
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. I抦 totally cool with that.
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Chandler: Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
Monica: Hi.
Joey: Hey!
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler 慜h my God!?
[Scene: A bar, Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Hey, Mon.
Monica: Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.
Chandler: Do I ever.
Monica: Chris says they抮e closing down the bar.
Chandler: No way!
Monica: Yeah, apparently they抮e turning it into some kinda coffee place.
Chandler: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?
Monica: Got me.
Chandler: (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
Monica: Hey, did you pick a roommate?
Chandler: You betcha!
Monica: Is it the Italian guy?
Chandler: Um-mm, yeah right!
Monica: He抯 so cute.
Chandler: Oh yes, and that抯 what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool table抯 free. Rack 慹m up. I抣l be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Chandler: Okay, but after that, we抮e shootin?some pool.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I don抰 think this is.
Waitress: I am so sorry.
Rachel: That抯 all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Rachel: Ummm, I think it抯 time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Friend No. 2: Oh, isn抰 it exciting, I mean it抯 like having a boyfriend for life.
Rachel: Yeah, I know.
Friend No. 1: What?
Rachel: Oh, I don抰 know. Well maybe it抯 just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I don抰 know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Friend No. 1: Rachel stop!
Friend No. 2: You抮e so bad!
Rachel: I抦 serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
(Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.)
Chandler: Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
Rachel: Yeah, so?
Chandler: (picks it up) And now I抳e picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Rachel: Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)
Monica: Oh my God, you can抰 even see where the Titanic hit it.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, he抯 a doctor, thank you very much.
Monica: Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations
Rachel: Thank you. So how-how 慴out you, are-are you seeing anybody?
Monica: Aww, not right now.
Rachel: Oh, but that抯 okay.
Monica: I know.
Rachel: Yeah.
(An awkward silence)
Monica: So, I抣l get-get back to my friend.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a 慠emember me??thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time I抦 in the city?
Monica: Oh, that抎 be great.
Rachel: Okay!
Monica: Thanks.
Rachel: Bye!
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe抯, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Ross: No real-, honey, really it抯 fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Phoebe: So what are they doing?
Ross: I don抰 know, something girlie.
Phoebe: (to Monica, who抯 entering) Hey, you抮e early.
Monica: What are you doing with the lamp?
Phoebe: I抦 just taking it to be re-wired.
Monica: Oh, well don抰 take it to the same place you took the stereo, 慶ause they抳e had that thing for over a week.
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Mr. Heckles: You抮e disturbing my oboe practice.
Phoebe: You don抰 play the oboe!
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Phoebe: Then I抦 gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
(in the hallway, Eric is moving in)
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Eric: Hi, I抦 Eric, I抦 gonna be Chandler抯 new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I抦 Chandler抯 new roommate.
Eric: I-I-I don抰 think so.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandler抯 new roommate.
Eric: But, he told me over the phone.
Mr. Heckles: He told me in person.
Eric: That抯 weird.
Mr. Heckles: Well, I抦 going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
(inside Chandler抯 apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Monica: Hi, again.
Joey: Hey! (goes into the apartment)
Chandler: (leaving to go to work) Hey!
Monica: Thank you soo, much.
Chandler: Oh, don抰 thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Monica: You want some help with that?
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I don抰!
Monica: Whoa! Are you okay?
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
Monica: It抯 the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away) And-and the humidity.
Joey: That抯 a uh, that抯 a tough combination.
Monica: Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Joey: Like you wouldn抰 believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Monica: Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable.
Joey: Gotcha.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmother抯. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, I抦 87 year old woman, who抯 afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Oh, you bet I am!
Monica: (turning around) Okay, here抯 your penis!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!!
Joey: You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Monica: So?!
Joey: Whoa, ah!! We抮e you just gonna give me some lemonade?
Monica: Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!
Joey: Oh right, right.
Monica: I don抰 believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Joey: Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. I抦 such a jerk.
Monica: It抯 okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe抯, Monica is vacuuming.]
Monica: Pheebs?
Phoebe: Huh?
Monica: Where抯 your bed?
Phoebe: It抯 not in the apartment? (Monica gives a 慍ome on?look) Oh no. I can抰 believe this is happening again.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-I抳e, I don抰 live here anymore.
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: I抦 sorry, I-I-I-I don抰 live here anymore. I-I didn抰 know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Monica: Everybody knows!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn抰 sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Monica: Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: Yeah, I would抳e except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Monica: What?!?!
Phoebe: Okay, this is what I抦 talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
Phoebe: Aw, honey it抯 not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don抰 see that happening.
Monica: I love you, too.
Phoebe: Aww, good. (they hug) What?
Monica: What? I抦 just said.
Phoebe: No you抮e not, you抮e wondering which cushion it is.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
Chandler: So ah, whatcha watching?
Joey: Baywatch.
Chandler: What抯 it about?
Joey: Lifeguards.
Chandler: Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Who抯 she?
Joey: Nicole Eggert. You'll like her.
(Baywatch goes into one of those running scenes.)
Chandler: Wow! Look at them run.
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Chandler: Yeah, I抣l go get one.
Joey: No, no, no, don抰 get up, I got a cooler right here.
[Scene: Monica抯, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Chandler: Well, hello!
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Do you have any beers? We抮e out of beers.
Monica: (all depressed) Help yourself.
Chandler: You okay?
Monica: Phoebe moved out.
Chandler: Right.
Monica: I don抰 understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I don抰 have a boyfriend?
Chandler: Noo!! You don抰 have a boyfriend because....I don抰, I don抰 know why you don抰 have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.
Monica: Well, I think so.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman I抳e ever known in real life.
[Scene: the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.]
Ross: (all depressed) Hi. Where is everybody?
Phoebe: Oh, it抯 already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
Phoebe: Oh no! Why?
Ross: 慍ause Carol抯 a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and I抦 not one. And apparently it抯 not a mix and match situation.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I don抰 believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) I抦 an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and I抎 be out and she抎, she抎 see some beautiful woman, and, and she抎 be Ross y'know look at her, and I抎 think, God, my wife is cool!
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Ross: Well, now I do!!
Phoebe: I抦 sorry.
Ross: Seven years. I mean we抳e been together seven years, she抯 the only woman who抯 ever loved me, and the only woman I抳e-I抳e ever....
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
[Scene: Monica抯, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Chandler: Umm, this is nice.
Monica: I know, it is isn抰 it?
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Monica: Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Monica: Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, it抯, it抯 gonna be....
Monica: I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)
[Scene: the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.]
Ross: Maybe this would抳e happened if I抎 been more nurturing, or I抎 paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I can抰 believe this!
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you don抰 deserve this, you don抰 Ross. You抮e, you抮e really, you抮e so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: And you抮e so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And you抮e kind (kisses him on the lips)
Ross: Thanks. (kisses her on the lips)
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
Ross: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Phoebe: Huh?
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Phoebe: Okay, it抯 okay.
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Phoebe: Oh. (they start kissing again)
Ross: Wait, wait, wait.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: My foot is stuck in the pocket.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: No, I can抰 get it out.
Phoebe: Well, that抯 not something a girl wants to hear.
Ross: No, come on don抰 start. (they start kissing again) Ouch!
Phoebe: What?
Ross: Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
Ross: Oh well. It probably would抳e been the most constructive solution.
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
Ross: Huh? (the rest of the gang enters)
Phoebe: Oh, Ross you抮e right, I don抰 know why I always thought this was real grass.
Monica: Hey, are you okay?
Ross: My wife抯 a lesbian.
Joey: Cool!!
Chandler: Ross-Joey, Joey-Ross. (they shake hands)
Ross: Hi.
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: I can抰 believe you came back.
br> Rachel: Don抰 say anything. I don抰 wanna speak, I don抰 wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and It抯 That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, she抯 in her car driving back from the city)
Rachel: What?
Friend No. 2: You missed the exit!
Rachel: Oh, sorry.
Friend No. 1: My God, what were you thinking about?
Rachel: Um, (shyly) Barry.
Her Friends: Awwww!!
END
我想问一个问题
你们当中有哪一个人
跟你们当中的另一个人睡过?
好色的数学问题
很抱歉，答案是一个也没有
这几年下来你们
都没有喝醉做蠢事?
那是另外一个问题
想不到一群
成天混在一起的人
居然没做过丑事
摩妮卡曾经和瑞秋
在一起
什么?
很抱歉，没有那回事
那就假设有
会怎么样?
那就告诉我
你们有没有差一点…?
-还有谁要咖啡?
-外面有狗狗
-太可惜了
-怎么了？
可爱裸男越来越胖
我马上回来
菲比，抱歉我的口红
印到电话筒了
你没有啊
那就是你罗，再见
拜拜
所以我才要搬走说到这件事
你几时要告诉我老妹
你不住这里了?
在某些层面上，她已经知道了
她并不知道你每天晚上溜出去
每天早上溜回来
而且已在你奶奶家住了一星期
好吧，也许不是这些层面
我永远也找不到室友
没有好的人选?
有个家伙养了一堆雪貂
是一堆喔
有一个爱吐口水
还有一个觉得我的名字很好玩
每次说到都要发出怪声
幸会，钱德宾！
好棒的房子，钱德宾！
-明天还有几个?
-两个
一个好像很无趣的摄影师
和一个怪怪的演员
我拿起电话说“钱德宾”
他居然说：哇，好短的留言
罗斯，脚放下
否则以后不准来
你的梳妆台都不见了
她只注意到这个
我该走了
卡洛应该回家了，所以…
你们两个还好吗?
有改善了
我终于知道我们为何这么不顺
真的?
对，你们也知道我有你们
她自己没有要好的朋友
不过上星期，她在健身房认识
一个叫苏珊的女人
她们一拍即合
这样一来就不一样了
艾瑞克
你是哪一种摄影师?
大部份是流行时尚
偶尔会有模特儿过来没关系吧
没关系
因为有模特儿来的机率
是零
这个夏天我都到
我姐的海边小屋度周末
也欢迎你去玩
不过我得告诉你她是演A片的
我还要见一个人
不过除非她是你姐姐…
你的机会应该很大
好
卧房、浴室、客厅
这里是厨房，谢谢你来
再见
你不想问我问题吗?
好……
你好吗?
我是演员
我很爱干净
我自己有电视
你放心，我不排斥同性恋
什么同性恋?
就是一般的同性恋的事
我完全不在意
乔伊，谢谢你来
好帅！
老莫
-想听一件很烂的事吗?
-我听多了
-克里斯要把酒吧收了
-不会吧
这里要改成一家咖啡店
只卖咖啡?
-我们以后要去哪里?
-我怎么知道
一瓶啤酒
室友挑好了吗?
那当然是那个义大利帅哥吗?
怎么可能
他好可爱
我就是需要一个超帅室友
好被贬下去
球台空了，准备一下我马上回来
准备让我打屁股吧
好，不过之后要打球
不对，很抱歉
我朋友点的是洋葱
不是橄榄
我点的是糖蜜酒和健怡
这杯不是
-对不起
-没关系
准备饮料能有多难?
我们来敬酒
这位女士在一年后的今天
就要嫁给…
贝利巴柏医生，牙科博士
应该再秀一次戒指了
很棒吧?
就好像一辈子都有男朋友
是啊，我知道
怎么了?
我不晓得
也许只是想到…
一辈子要跟贝利在一起
我不知道，我觉得…
我想来个最后的放纵
好永远忘记这种事
-瑞秋，别说了
-你好坏
我是真的的我真的觉得我需要…
毫无意义的性爱
就跟下一个看到的男人
抱歉，我的球好像掉了
所以呢?
我又把它捡起来了
天哪，那是我的高中同学
你觉得如何?
天哪
连铁达尼都撞不坏它
没错，他叫贝利
是一位医生
这是你的梦想，恭喜你
谢谢
那你呢?有对象吗?
目前没有
没关系
我知道
我要去找我朋友了
好——
下次我进城，我们一起吃饭?
好啊
-再见
-再见
我打赌这辈子都不会再见到她
真的，没关系
你就……
跟苏珊去吧
真的，我觉得…
我觉得女生一起出门很好啊
好…好，再见
她们要做什么?
不晓得，女生做的事
你回来早了
你拿着那盏灯做什么?
拿去换电线
别送去修音响那一家
他们已经修了一星期
海克斯先生我们没有制造噪音
你们打扰我练习双簧管了
-你又不会吹双簧管
-我可以吹
那就请你小声一点
你是谁?
-艾瑞克，钱德的新室友
-我才是钱德的新室友
-不是吧
-我可以当钱德的新室友
但是他打电话告诉我…
他是亲口告诉我的
好奇怪
我要回我的新公寓了
又见面了
谢谢你
别谢我，谢那个没出现的混蛋
我要去上班了
需要帮忙吗?
不用了，我可以
我不行
没事吧?
我起来得太快了，头有点晕
太热了
而且又潮湿
加起来……
实在蛮难受的
想不想进来喝杯柠檬汁?
想得不得了
你家好漂亮
谢谢
不要客气
懂了
这其实是我奶奶的房子
她搬去佛州，我才能住；
否则我根本租不起
要是房东问起
你就说我是87岁…
害怕录影机的老太太，你渴吗
渴得不得了
好
这是你的老二！
天哪!你在干什么?
你问我想不想进来喝柠檬汁
所以呢?
-你只是要给我柠檬汁?
-是啊
赶快遮起来
对喔，抱歉
我真不敢相信
人家请你喝柠檬汁
就是想跟你上床?
通常是啊，不只柠檬汁啦
冰茶啦，果汁啦
我很抱歉，我只是…
我以为你喜欢我
我真混蛋
没关系
任何人都会碰上这种事
我不认识这种人，不过…
我还是看得到
菲比，你的床呢?
不在屋里吗?
居然又发生这种事了
什么?
好，别拷问我了
我…我不住这里了
你在说什么？ 对不起
我不住这里了
我不知道该怎么告诉你
但是其它人都知道
大家都知道?
这本来是好事
但是我忘了原因
我曾经一整个月睡不着
就因为我在沙发垫上滴了一滴墨水
你可以把它翻面啊
我本来会翻，
但另一面沾到意大利面酱汁
什么?
我就是这个意思
我要住在可以打翻东西的地方
你可以打翻东西啊…
在水槽里
亲爱的，不是你不好，
你就是这样
我爱你，我要我们是朋友
要是我留在这里那是不可能的
-我也爱你
-那就好
怎么了?
什么?
我只是很难过
才怪，你在想是哪一个垫子
在看什么?
“海滩游侠”
在演什么?
救生员
听起来蛮蠢…
她是谁?
妮可艾格
她超辣的
哇，她们在跑
她们经常在跑
你要喝啤酒吗?
我去拿，
别起来，冰桶在这里
你有啤酒吗?
我们喝完了
自己拿
你还好吗?
菲比搬走了
对
我不懂
我真的这么难相处?
所以才找不到男朋友?
不是，你没有男朋友是因为…
我不知道为什么
你应该要有的
我也这么认为
过来
来
听我说你是我最喜欢的人之一
还是我在现实中所认识
最漂亮的女人
人都在哪里?
已经打烊了，克里斯要我锁门
出了什么事?
我想我的婚姻…
应该是完蛋了
不会吧，为什么?
因为卡洛是女同性恋
而我不是女同性恋
而且这显然不是一时激情
天哪
我真不敢相信
可怜的孩子
我是白痴
我早该看出来了
卡洛和我出门她都会看漂亮美眉
她会说：罗斯，你看她
我还觉得…
天哪，我老婆真酷
你觉得那个苏珊是她的情人吗?
我现在知道了
对不起
都七年了
我们在一起七年了
她是唯一爱过我的女人
也是我唯一有过…
真好
我知道，很棒对不对?
我是说真的，摸起来好舒服
是百分之百纯棉吗?
对，而且还是特价品
我该走了
有一个救生员正要拆除核弹
我们待会可以去喝一杯
听起来不错
还有，不会有…
我知道
谢了
搞不好可以避免
要是我再有深度一点
或是多注意她一点
或是我有子宫
我真不敢相信
你不该受这种折磨，真的
-你人这么好 -谢谢
而且你很体贴
-谢谢 -心肠又好
谢谢
过来
等一下
别管了
等一下，我的脚卡在球洞里
我弄不出来
女生可不想听到这种话
你别逗我
怎么了?
那些烂球好碍事
好吧
这不是最有建设性的解决方式
你的脸上有粉笔灰
你说得对
我怎么会以为这是真的草皮
你还好吗?
我老婆是同性恋
酷!
罗斯，乔伊，乔伊，罗斯
你竟然回来了
什么都不要说
我不想说话，我不想思考
我只要你现在就吻我…
跟我做爱
你错过交流道了
对不起
真是的，你在想什么?
贝利