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The One With The Football
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
The Guys: (reacting to a play) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Awww!
Phoebe: Hey, it抯 your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
The Guys: We will. (they don抰 move)
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monica抯 nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Monica: Every year.
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down).
Ross: Halftime.
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
Rachel: Oh! That would be sooo much fun!
Phoebe: Oh, can I play too? I抳e never played football, like ever.
Joey: Great, you can cover Chandler.
Chandler: No, no, no, I don抰, I don抰 really wanna play.
Joey: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
Chandler: That抯 not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don抰 say that I don抰 have goals!
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe it抣l take your mind off Janice, and if you don抰 play, everyone will be mad at you 慶ause the teams won抰 be even. Come on.
Chandler: Yeah, all right, I抣l play.
Phoebe: Yay!!
Rachel: Let抯 do it! Ross?
Ross: What?
Rachel: Do you wanna play football?
Ross: Um, Monica and I aren抰 supposed to play football.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
Monica and Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the 慓eller Bowl.?br>
Chandler: No, no, no, you say that proudly.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kind抳e competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Ross抯 nose.
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didn抰 count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didn抰 get the Geller Cup?
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, 憂obody won that game, ?and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
Chandler: And was the curse lifted?
Ross: Anyway. That抯 when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, it抯 been twelve years.
Ross: Can I see you for a second?
(they walk over to the sink and discuss it for a moment)
Monica: (shouting) Once!!
Ross: All right, we抮e gonna play.
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom won抰 let me cross the street.
[Scene: The Park, the gang is warming up for their football game.]
Monica: Okay. Let抯 bring it in.
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Ross: Here you go. (throws her the ball)
Rachel: (knocking it down instead of catching it) That almost hit me in the face.
Joey: All right, we have to pick captains.
Chandler: And then Tineals.
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Monica: Well, why don抰 we just bunny up.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, I抦 your best friend.
Ross: Sweetie, don抰 worry you抣l get picked. Chandler.
Rachel: Ross!
Monica: Phoebe.
(Phoebe kisses Rachel on the cheek, then joins her team.)
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Rachel: You don抰 pick me! You抮e stuck with me!
Ross: Okay. All right. So let抯 see, let抯 play from the trash can, to the lightpost. Right. Two hand touch, we抣l kick off.
Monica: All right people listen, I抳e got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again.
Chandler: Wow! Just like in the pros.
Monica: Huddle up.
Joey: (to his team) All right, huddle up, right over here.
Phoebe: Wait for me! Wait for me! Wait for me! Oh cool, this is my first huddle.
Monica: Okay.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler?
Monica: Okay, Phoebe you know what you抮e doing right?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, Joey抯 gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: What抯 block?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what you抮e doing?
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.
Monica: Break.
(Chandler is getting ready to kick off, Ross is holding the ball between his foot and finger.)
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Ross抯 foot instead.)
Ross: Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on!
Chandler: Sorry. I抦 sorry. Y'know what, we抮e just gonna throw it.
(Chandler throws the ball to kick-off.)
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Phoebe: Go! Go! Go!
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Monica: Score!! 7 to nothing!
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Ross: Come on, let抯 go!
Monica: Losers walk!
Ross: Yeah, losers talk!
Chandler: No, no, no, actually losers rhyme.
[cut to later, Ross抯 team has the ball.]
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Ross抯 legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
Ross: Yeah!
Chandler: (from the shotgun) Hike!
Monica and Joey: One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi.
(Rachel runs a quick slant.)
Rachel: Over here!
(Chandler throws her the ball, which she drops.)
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
Chandler: Great! Now, the score is 7 to almost 7.
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Rachel: Wait, what am I gonna do?
Ross: You, you go long.
Rachel: Wait, how long?
Ross: Until we start to look very small.
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Break!!
[cut to later, Monica抯 team has the ball.]
Joey: Set....hike!
Ross: One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, switch! Switch! Switch!!
Chandler: No, no, no, no, no!
(Monica throws the ball over Joey抯 head, it抯 stopped from rolling away by a very beautiful woman.)
Joey: Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball.
Woman: (in a foreign accent) You are playing American football?
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Woman: I抦 Dutch.
Joey: Hi-hi, I抦 Joey.
Woman: I抦 Margha.
Joey: I抦 sorry Dutch, I didn抰 get that last little bit.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, I抦 Chandler.
Margha: Hello, Chandler.
Joey: Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan.
Margha: Margha.
Joey: Mar-klan.
Margha: Mar-gha.
Chandler: Mar-haaaan.
[cut to Ross and Monica.]
Monica: Come on guys! Let抯 go! Come on, it抯 second down.
Ross: Uh, hello, it抯 third down.
Monica: No it抯 not, it抯 second.
Ross: Wow!
Monica: Wow, what?
Ross: It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this.
Monica: Pulling what? It抯 second down.
Ross: Okay, it抯 second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
Monica: I heard that!
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]
Margha: It is okay, if I stay and watch?
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why don抰 you stick around. You can sit right there.
(she goes and sits down)
Chandler: Well, that went well.
Joey: I think so.
Chandler: Y'know, I was thinking about ah, asking her for her number.
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Joey: Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, I抣l let you have her.
Chandler: Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didn抰 I wouldn抰 have a shot?
Joey: Well I don抰 like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Don抰 feel bad man, we all have our strengths. You抮e better with numbers and stuff.
Chandler: Math!! You抮e giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, we抣l see who gets her.
[cut to later, in Ross抯 huddle.]
Ross: Chandler, I want you to run a post pattern to the left, okay. And sweetie..
Rachel: Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, it抯 like all I抦 doing is running back and forth from the huddle.
Ross: Well ah, you wanna just stay out there?
Rachel: Can I see that for second.
Ross: Yeah.
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Ross抯 forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Ross: Okay. Hut! Hike!
(Chandler runs around behind Ross, who pitches him the ball. Chandler runs upfield, and Joey knocks the ball out of his hands.)
Joey: Fumble!
(Joey starts to return the fumble and Chandler grabs Joey抯 shirt and rips it off of his back.)
Joey: What the hell抯 the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Chandler: Well now you have two. Hey, I am good at math.
Joey: All right, that抯 it. Y'know I was still gonna let you have her. But now, forget about it. Prepare to feel very bad about yourself.
Chandler: Hey! Well, I抳e been preparing for that my entire life! Or something about you that抯 mean!
Monica: All right, come on guys, let抯 go! Tie score, and we抮e runnin?out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! (the timer sounds as Monica throws the ball to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh I got it!! (catches the ball) Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!
Joey: Pheebs, run!
Monica: Run, Phoebe, run!
(Phoebe runs and scores a touchdown.)
Phoebe: Touchdown!! Touchdown!!
Ross: Uh, hello, the buzzer buzzed. It doesn抰 count.
Monica: After the snap!
Ross: Before the snap!
Joey: After!!
Chandler: Before!!
Rachel: Now, does it really matter?
All: Yes!!
Phoebe: Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?
Ross: Oh Pheebs, that抯 great. It doesn抰 count.
Monica: Does so count!
Ross: Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Monica: Y'know what, that抯 fine, maybe you haven抰 grown up, but I have.
Ross: Oh-ho, okay.
Monica: Dead leg!! (kicks him in the thigh.)
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
Phoebe: Woo-yay!!
Monica: No! Listen, I抦 not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you can抰 blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Let抯 just call this, tie score and it抯 halftime.
Ross: Okay, first of all, I don抰 play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!!
Monica: Y'know what? I抣l think you抣l play.
Ross: Oh really! Why is that?
[cut to Monica and Rachel抯.]
Monica: Because the winner gets this!
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
All: Yeah.
Chandler: Okay, good.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
Ross: Okay, where in the hell did you get that?!
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Ross: That cup is mine!
Monica: No it抯 not! You want it, you抮e gonna have to win it!
Rachel: All right, so are we not having dinner at all?
Monica: Come on Phoebe, let抯 go! Come on, it抯 time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
Joey: It抯 hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, I抣l take care of the rest.
Joey: Okay.
Monica: Break!
Joey: Here you go!
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
Ross: Chandler! Chandler!
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
Chandler: (to Margha) Hi.
(just as he gets in front of Margha, Monica comes up and tackles him)
Monica: Whoa! Whoa!! Tackled by a girl! Bet ya don抰 see that everyday, do ya?
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What抯 with the tackling?
Monica: What?! I just touched him and he went over.
Ross: Okay, you wanna play rough, we can play rough.
(They both stare each other down as we hear 慙et抯 get ready to r-r-r-rum-ble!!!?
(A long football sequence follows.)
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandler抯 head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
[Sequence 2: Monica runs upfield and stops, waiting for a pass. Ross runs over and pulls her pants down, steps in front of her and intercepts the pass.]
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Phoebe: I love this game!!
[cut to Ross who walks up to Rachel who is eating a baked pretzel.]
Ross: Hey, where抎 you get that?
Rachel: I went really long.
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Ross: It抯 no surprise that your winning, 慶ause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Monica: You抮e so pathetic! Why can抰 you just accept it, we抮e winning because I抦 better than you.
(Ross makes a 慪eah. Right.?sound.)
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, I抣l prove it to you, okay. I抣l trade you Joey for Rachel, and I抣l still win the game.
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, that抯 ridiculous Monica, because I抦 only down by three touchdowns.
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
Ross: Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey you抮e with me.
Rachel: I can not believe your trading me!!
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Let抯 see what抯 it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Rachel: Are you gonna let me play?
Monica: All right then.
[cut to the guys?team.]
Margha: (coming over) The game is over, we eat now?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, the game抯 not over, we抮e just switching teams.
Joey: Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that it抯 better if we抮e on the same team.
Ross: Right. Okay, let抯 play. Let抯 go.
Chandler: No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from?
Joey: Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Joey: Nice try. (to Margha) See the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinker Bell come from.
Margha: Oh, my.
Ross: Enough with geography for the insane, okay? Let抯 play some ball, guys.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-I抦 not playing with this guy, now.
Chandler: Fine with me.
Ross: Okay, y'know what, let抯 just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Margha: Which do I like?
Ross: Yeah, y'know for dating, general merriment, taking back to your windmill...
Margha: Well, if I had to chose right now, which by the way I find really weird, I would have to say, Chandler.
Chandler: Yes!!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didn抰 understand the question.
Chandler: Well, you don抰 you have Captain Hook explain it to her.
Margha: I抦 sorry, Joey, that is my chose.
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister I抣l let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
Margha: I抦 now thinking I would like to change my answer to, no one.
Chandler: Wh-what?
Margha: I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye.
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesn抰 matter, 慶ause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Ross: Save the breakthroughs for therapy, okay. The clock is ticking. We have no time, and we are losing, we are losing to girls.
Chandler: We抮e not gonna lose to girls.
Ross: Hey! It抯 42-21!
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
Monica: Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries.
[cut to the girls huddle.]
Monica: We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while you抮e making out...
Phoebe: Oh my God! You dated someone with a glass eye too?!
Monica: Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Let抯 kill 憉m!
Rachel: Yeah!!! Kill 憉m!!!
Phoebe: All right, no, well I want to kill them to, but their boys, y'know how are we gonna beat three boys?
(Another football sequence follows)
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and it抯 intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesn抰 slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
[cut to the girls huddle]
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and we抮e down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Rachel: No! Come on! Don抰 make me go long. Use me. They never cover me.
Monica: Honey, there抯 a reason.
Rachel: God, I抦 not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
Phoebe: Come on Mon, let her throw the ball.
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, I抣l pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Rachel: Thank you! Break!
Monica: Thirty-two! Seventy-one! Hike!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
The Guys: One-Mississippi! Two-Mississippi! Three-Mississippi!
(They all rush toward Rachel, who panics and runs away. She runs out of the park and up along the fence, she then comes back into the park and runs past Monica, as she gets to Monica, she throws the ball at Monica, and it hits her in the eye.)
Rachel: I抦 so sorry! Are you okay?
Monica: No! I抦 not okay!
Rachel: I抦 sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didn抰 know what to do.
Joey: (looking at the timer) Thirty seconds left on the timer!
Chandler: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home!
Monica: Come on! Come on! Hurry! We抮e running out of time! Huddle up!
Phoebe: Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah.
Monica: All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long.
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Okay.
Monica: Break!
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Rachel: (in triumph) I got a touchdown! We did it!!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey Rachel, funny thing. Actually, the ah, end zone starts at that pole, so you抮e five feet short, so we win!
Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isn抰 the play still going.
(they all start to dive for the ball and Monica and Ross grab it at the same time.)
Ross: Let go! Let go!
Monica: Let go! I抦 a tiny little woman!!
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! It抯 Thanksgiving, it抯 not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Monica: Ow!!
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Rachel: We should defiantly play football more often. Maybe there抯 a like league we could join or something.
Phoebe: Isn抰 there a national football league.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights.
Rachel: Oh shoot! I work Monday nights.
Phoebe: Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some?
Joey: When they抮e hungry enough, they抣l come in.
[Scene: The park, it抯 dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
Monica: Let go!
Ross: No! You let go!
Monica: No!
Ross: How come it抯 always us left in the field holding the ball?
Monica: I don抰 know. I guess the other people just don抰 care enough.
(It starts snowing.)
Ross: Hey! It抯 starting to snow.
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
Ross: Gimme the this!
Monica: Let go!
END
拜托!
你们也要过感恩节
不要老看足球，来帮帮忙
我们知道啊
你要把棉花糖排成同心圆
不，是你要
把棉花糖排成同心圆
我要的是这样
年年如此
十码、五码触地得分，太棒了
我这倒想看足球试试看
中场休息
谁想出去玩玩球?
来个3对37
一定很好玩我可以参加吗?
我从来没玩过足球
太好了，你可以防守
我不想玩球
你跟珍妮丝分手之后
就一直提不起劲
才不是这样
我想整天穿着浴袍吃花生
我还想在早上喝酒
别说我没有目标
你得把她忘了，好吗?
如果你来玩球，呼吸新鲜空气
也许就会忘记珍妮丝
否则大家都会生你的气
因为这样实力就不平均了
好，我参加
来吧，罗斯?
什么？
想玩足球吗？
摩妮卡跟我都不能玩足球
谁说的?
你妈?
以前每年圣诞节我们
都玩触身美式足球
叫做盖勒杯
不…你的口气要很骄傲才对
反正罗斯跟我每次都当队长
竞争越来越激烈
有一年，第六届盖勒杯
我不小心打断罗斯的鼻子
你是故意的
她看到我就快抱住她
就用她的…
大胖手肘撞我的脸
然后拼命往前跑
因此赢得致胜的一分
你没有赢，那次得分不算
因为你公然犯规
野蛮地打断我的鼻子
我赢了
是吗?
那你怎么没得到盖勒杯?
有盖勒杯?
对，这是赢球的奖品
但爸爸说我们谁都没赢
他受够了我们打来打去
所以他把奖品…
丢进湖里
这个诅咒解除了没有?
反正……
妈妈说我们不能再玩足球了
你知道吗?
我觉得我们应该一起去玩球
我是说，都已经过了12年了
跟你私下说句话好吗?
哇
好，我们参加
等等，我们怎么过去?
我妈不准我过马路
来
把球丢过来
等等
亲爱的，把球传给我
来
你差点打中我的脸
我们要选队长
然后挑选队员
我们怎么推派决定队长?
装兔宝宝好不好?
什么?
兔兔
看来队长就是罗斯跟我了
我先装兔子
所以我先挑，乔伊
谢谢
摩妮卡
我是你最好的朋友
甜心，别担心，
会有人选你的
甜心，现在我选你了
你才没选我
你是没人可选了
好，这样吧
比赛场地是
从垃圾桶到路灯，好吗?
两手发球，开始吧
大家听好了，28分钟后…
我就给你们好看
哇，就跟职业球队一样
好，临场会议
临场会议
等等我
太棒了!这是我的第一次
老实说
你们觉得钱德怎么样?
你知道自己在做什么吧?
乔伊接球，我们阻挡
什么叫“阻挡”?
我还以为你知道自己在做什么
我以为你是指人生的方向
开始
球是珍妮丝…
该死…
拜托！
对不起
这样吧，我们用丢的好了
我来接
快……
得分，7此0
亲爱的，你没事吧?
我们来
输家滚蛋
是吗?
输家只会说
其实输家是押韵的
4 3 ……
7 4……
拉开进攻阵势好吗？
好
一秒钟、两秒钟…
这里…
我差点就接到了
太好了，我们差点就得分了
这场比赛，我要你往前场跑
再用假动作往右边跑，好吗?
开始
等等，那我要干嘛?
你?
你跑远一点
多远?
到你几乎看不见我们为止
开始
一秒钟、两秒钟…
换防守位置…
谢谢你挡住了我们的球
你们在玩美式足球?
哇!你好像是外国人
我是荷兰人
嗨，我是乔伊
我是玛嘉
对不起，荷兰人
最后一个字我没听懂
乔伊，你还玩球还是…
嗨，我是钱德
哈罗，钱德
她叫做荷兰人，又叫做玛亨
来吧，开始了第二次十码进攻
喂，是第三次十码进攻了
才不是，这是第二次而已
哇
哇什么?
我真没想到你现在还来这一套
哪一套? 这是第二次进攻
好，是第二次进攻
你要来几个第二次进攻都可以
我听到了
我就是说给你听的
我可以留下来看吗?
你只管坐着看
对啊，留下来吧
我想也是
我想跟她要电话号码
谢了，老兄
但我自己开口比较有说服力
我是替我自己要的
好帮我忘了珍妮丝
对啊
好吧，如果这么重要我就让给你吧
谢了
让给我?
你是说如果你不让贤
我就没有机会?
我没有说得这么明显，不过…
没错
别难过，我们各有优点
你比较有数学头脑
数学?你说我数学好?
好，这样吧，算了
你去追她，我们看谁能追到
我要你左边防守
甜心
对，我知道，跑远一点
我就只是跑来跑去而已
你要不要干脆留在场外好了?
我能跟你私下谈谈好吗?
好，来吧
我来防守钱德
一秒钟、两秒钟、三秒钟
漏接
你是怎么搞的?
这是我最喜欢的一件毛织衫
那你现在有两件了
嘿，我的数学还真不赖
够了，我本来还想让给你
现在你想都不要想
等着看自己出丑吧
我已经准备了一辈子了
我等着看你
现出你的劣根性
快点，比赛了
此数拉平，我们没时间了
42、38，)当下开球
我接到了
我的胸部骨折了
菲比，快跑快跑，菲比，快跑
触地得分
铃声响了，不算
那是在传球之前
在传球之后
之后！
之前！
这很重要吗？
对
但我触地得分了！
这是我的第一次
菲比，太好了
可是不算
当然算
骗子，骗子，不吃会死
我的天啊
很好，也许你还没长大
但我已经是大人了
踢死你这个脓包
好，很好…
你想靠作弊赢球，随便你
菲比，得分照算，你赢了
我不想再跟你吵
我要你输得无话可说
不能怪罪鼻梁断掉、铃声或是
你可能白血球过多
比赛算平手，现在是中场休息
首先，我不跟作弊的人比赛
第二，你知道我以前
有腺体肿大的毛病
你知道吗?
我看你一定会参加
真的吗?
为什么?
因为赢得人可以拿到这个
盖勒杯
你们大家也看见
一个钉在木板上的娃娃吗?
好，很好
你是从哪里弄来的?
你到医院去接鼻梁的时候…
我游到湖里找出来的
奖杯是我的
才不是，你想要
就得凭本事来赢过去
那我们不吃晚饭了?
过来，该认真一点了，围过来
乔伊，认真比赛
这很难耶
他就在那个荷兰女孩旁边
如果我让钱德出局
你能够专心吗?
你有什么办法?
你只要让他接到球就好了
其它就交给我吧
来吧
来
看我的
来，这里，来
小心
被女生阻截
这种画面不多见吧
你这是干嘛?
干嘛?
我碰他一下，他就倒下来了
好，你想玩狠的
我们也可以很野蛮
准备开打咯
加油
挡住她
好过瘾
你从哪里弄来的?
我跑得很远
42比21
罗斯跟火鸡一样死翘翘了
你会赢并不奇怪，你先挑人
挑到的球员比较好
你真可悲，为什么你不肯承认我们赢球
是因为我比你行?
好啊，好一声叹息
好，我要让你心服口服
我用乔伊跟你换瑞秋
还是照赢不误
什么?男生对女生?
这太荒谬了，因为我
只要三次触地得分，就追上你了
那就得分给我看啊
除非你怕会输给几个女生
很好，瑞秋，你跟摩妮卡
乔伊，你跟我一队
你竟然把我交换出去
我们也来尝尝看赢球的滋味
你会让我上场?
那好
比赛结束了?
我们要去吃饭?
比赛还没结束
我们在交换球员
钱德觉得我对他造成威胁
还是跟他同一队比较好
好，我们来打球吧，快
等一下
荷兰人是从哪里来的?
这个嘛
宾州的荷兰人来自宾州
其它的荷兰人呢?
他们是尼德兰附近来的吧?
勇气可嘉
尼德兰是虚构出来的地方
是彼得潘和小仙子的家
我的天
别再讲“疯子的地理学”了
我们打球吧
我不跟这家伙一起打球
我无所谓
我受够了
干脆直接了当一点海蒂，
你喜欢哪一个?
你这是干嘛?
你这是干嘛?
我喜欢哪一个?
对，你会挑哪一个约会
找乐子、带回家?
如果一定要现在选…
我也觉得不可思议…
不过我会说是钱德
等等，她显然没听懂你的问题
你可以请虎克船长
解释给她听啊
对不起，这是我的真心话
听到没有?这是她的真心话
说什么“我把她让给你”!
我赢了，你输了
我是武林至尊
给我来个迷你波浪舞
我现在考虑要把我的答案
改成“谁都不选”
什么?
我现在觉得你既肤浅…
又呆瓜
再见
干得好
你好几个月不必
在床上浪费精力了
这无所谓，因为她选的是我
从现在起，我会跟女人约会
而你周末的晚上
只能在家里看“简易烹饪”节目
把这些话留着告诉心理医生
比赛快结束了
我们时间不多
目前还落后给女生
我们不会输给女生
现在此数是42比21
该死我刚才就是领先这么多分
我们还要不要玩球?
快点，你们这些娘娘腔
我们要采取这种战术
我们要替全世界的女人而战
想想过去的每个烂约会
每个在亲热的时候
一只眼睛还在电视上的男人
老天，你跟装义眼的男人约会过?
拜托你们，好嘛?
为了全体妇女，我们宰了他们
对，宰了他们
好啊，我也想宰了他们
可是他们是男生
我们怎么打败三个男生?
只是下一分半钟
我们还落后两分
还落后两分，姊妹们
菲比，你再用后转身进攻法
瑞秋，你跑远一点
不要再叫我跑远一点了
让我做点事，他们从不防守我
亲爱的，这是有原因的
我不是跛脚，好吗?
我可以发挥作用
你让我传球嘛
这也是我的比赛
让她传球
迅速到他们后面，我传球给你
你传球到前场给菲比
谢谢
比赛开始
好，来吧
31、71，挡下开球
一秒钟、两秒钟、三秒钟
加油
接球
对不起，你还好吧?
不，我不好
他们冲着我来
我不知道该怎么办
比赛还剩下30秒钟
我们就可以把那个
呆瓜侏儒带回家了
快过来，我们没时间了
临场会议
这是最后一次临场会议了
好，菲比，摆脱防守，瑞秋
跑远一点
好
比赛开始
我成功了，触地得分，成功了
你们知道吗?很奇怪边锋的位置
是在那个柱子那里
所以你还差了五尺，所以…
我们赢了
太好了
等等，请你们解释一下
如果没有人抱住瑞秋
那比赛就还没结束吧?
让开…
想都别想，放手
放手?
我是个小女人
拜托，今天是感恩节
输赢并不重要
重要的是荷兰女孩选了我
是我，不是你，荷兰爱钱德
谢谢，阿姆斯特丹，晚安
我们应该多抽空玩足球
也许我们可以参加哪个联盟
不是有个“国家足球联盟”吗?
没错，星期天和星期一晚上比赛
太可惜了我星期天晚上要上班
这菜真好吃
要给他们带一些过去吗?
他们饿了自然会进来
放手
不，你放手
为什么每次都只剩我们
两个人抱着球不放?
不知道，我想是因为
其它人不太在乎吧
开始下雪了
把球给我，放手放手，快放手