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The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I won抰 give you anything, but you抣l owe me 2.95.
Joey: Done.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I don抰 know where his country is.
Monica: Okay, let抯 start with the free messages outside the UN.
Phoebe: Oh!! That抯 my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Phoebe: Ick-neck-tree-anis..... There抯 a 慻?in there.
Monica: Where抯 that?
Phoebe: In your atlas!
Monica: I don抰 have an atlas.
Phoebe: Oh.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Phoebe: Oh.
Monica: Hold on.
Joey: So Pheebs what抯 this guy like?
Phoebe: Umm, well he抯 very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesn抰 speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
Monica: 慘ay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Phoebe: What is this?
Monica: It抯 a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
(Phoebe puts the globe right up next to her eye to try and find the country.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied? I抦 going down to the Xerox place.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Monica: Well, if you don抰 have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
Chandler: Yeah! You wanna come?
Joey: Yeah!
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Chandler: Uh-oh.
Joey: Uh, y'know what, we抮e having second thoughts about our copying needs. And we抣l need a little more time to think about it.
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, there抯 some guys here that got a crush on you.
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Chloe: Hi guys. I haven抰 seen you since this morning.
Chandler: Well ah, ........y'know.
Chloe: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
Chloe: Maybe. Does that scare ya?
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
Chloe: Relax. It抯 just Issac抯 D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come.
Joey: We抣l be there.
Chloe: Great. I抣l ah, see ya then.
Chandler: All right, rock on. (Does the 慔ang 10?sign, then hides his face in shame.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Sergei: (something in Russian or Polish)
Mischa: He抯 says, 慦alking with you makes this strange city, feel like home.?br>
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So that抯 dumb what I said, don抰 tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
(Sergei goes up to her at her door and says something.)
Mischa: (leaning in) Your eyes are very pretty.
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Thank you, very much! Oh! (to Sergei) Thank you!
(Sergei says something and leans in to kiss her, but just as he抯 about to....)
Mischa: (leaning in) He would like to kiss you.
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you don抰 have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you don抰! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moment抯 over.
(Sergei says something and kisses her.)
Phoebe: Oh.
Mischa: Oy!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergei抯 country is.]
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Monica: Wow! It抯 small.
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when you抮e on a date and you抮e getting along really great but the guy抯 translator keeps getting in the way.
Monica: No.
Ross: (entering) Hey.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
Monica: Oh no, she抯 still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesn抰 she know it抯 our anniversary?
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Ross: What抯 that on the bottom?
Monica: Oh that抯 my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) She抯 fancy.
(Ross calls Rachel)
Rachel: (answering her phone at work) Hello.
Ross: Hey, honey.
Rachel: Oh, hi.
Ross: Hey, what抯 going on?
Rachel: Well, there was a disaster in shipping and I抳e got to get this order in. Honey, I抦 so sorry, but it looks like I抦 gonna be here all night.
Ross: What, do you, well umm, oh how about I come up there?
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, I抳e got, I抳e just have so much to deal with.
[Cut to kitchen.]
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, I抦 going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translator抯 date? So that when we, it抯 time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, he抯 really, he抯 kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
Phoebe: Hey, don抰 call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Chandler: Hey, y'know what, maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Joey: Uh, 10:30.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Joey: 4:30.
Chandler: Yeah all right, so we抣l hang out.
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?
Chandler: Yes. Vividly.
Joey: She was kidding about that right?
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Joey: God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh?
Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, I mean what, what would we do?
Joey: Dude, I don抰 know.
Chandler: She was kidding.
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you don抰 want to be doing something and then look up and see something you don抰 want to be seeing.
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Joey: Ah!! Okay! Eyes open at all times! Oh, hey, how do we decide where we... (clears throat) y'know each would, (clears throat again) y'know (pause) be?
Chandler: Right. Right. Well ah, y'know we could flip for it.
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but what抯 like heads and what抯 tails?
Chandler: Well it you don抰 know that, then I don抰 want to do this with you.
[Scene: Rachel抯 office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, I抦 looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what I抦 wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) We抮e holding.
Ross: (entering, carrying a basket) Hi!
Rachel: (startled) Oh!! My God, what are you doing here?
Ross: Well you said you couldn抰 go out so.... (pulls the cover off of the basket)
Sophie: You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. That抯 it, on Monday I start wearing make-up.
Rachel: Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis.
Ross: Yeah, but I got cous-cous!
Rachel: Honey, honey, I抦 sorry, I know it抯 our anniversary but I told you on the phone I don抰 have time to stop.
Ross: Okay, you don抰 have to stop, I抦 invisible, I抦 not here. (lights a candle)
Rachel: But I don抰, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Sophie: I love Mark. (to Ross) Do you know Mark?
Ross: Yeah!!
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Ross: (stopping grinding) Pepper?
Rachel: (angrily) None for me.
Ross: Okay sorry, whew.
Rachel: I抦 sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and I抦 sorry but that抯... (notices a fire that Ross抯 candle has started) Oh my God!!
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, that抯 a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, I抦 sorry, I抦 gonna have to call you back, I抳e got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Ross: I抦 sorry. But ah, hey, oh, somebody抯 off the phone, how 慴out a glass of wine by the fire, I could get it going again.
Rachel: Ross you抮e not listening to me, I don抰 have time to stop.
Ross: Come on Rach, you don抰 have what, ten minutes?
Rachel: I don抰 have ten minutes!!
Ross: What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?
Rachel: Hey, Ross!!! I told you I don抰!
Ross: Don抰 yell at me okay, this is the most I抳e seen you all week.
Rachel: Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, I抳e got a deadline, would you just go home, I抣l talk to you later. (storms out)
Ross: Yeah, but wait...
Rachel: Good bye!
(Ross starts to pack up the picnic in anger, and throws a three hole punch in the basket.)
Sophie: Actually, that抯 our three hole punch.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...
Ross: No, hey, well, I-I completely understand. You were, you were stressed.
Rachel: (throws her stuff down) I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me.
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebody抯 work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
Rachel: But I told you, I didn抰 have the time!
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I don抰 feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Ross: No, but it抎 be nice if you realised, it抯 just a job!
Rachel: Just a job!
Ross: Yes.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life I抦 doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life I抦 doing something that I抦 actually good at. I mean. if you don抰 get that...
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And I抦 happy for ya, but I抦 tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I don抰 know what to do anymore.
Rachel: Well neither do I!
Ross: Is this about Mark?
Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.
Ross: Okay, it抯 not, it抯 not.
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, you抮e, you抮e, you抮e making this too hard.
Ross: Oh I抦, I抦 making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Rachel: I don抰 know, I don抰 know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, you抮e right. Let抯 ah, let抯 take a break, (goes to the door) let抯 cool off, okay, let抯 get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
(Chandler agrees in an absolutely bored way.)
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, it抯 the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Ross: Oh, hi Chloe.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we don抰 do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say 憀et抯 Ross it!?br>
Chandler: And that抯 the only colour that comes in.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Chloe: Oh! (storms off)
Chandler: So, what are you doing here? I thought tonight was your big anniversary dinner.
Ross: Yeah, little change in plans. Ahh, we抮e gonna break-up instead.
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Mischa: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
(Mischa does so.)
Phoebe: You didn抰 say Boutros Boutros Gali.
Mischa: (to Sergei) Boutros Boutros Gali.
(Sergei responds.)
Mischa: He says he was too.
Phoebe: Interesting.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Phoebe: Okay, ah, before you get all talky again, umm, could you also please tell Sergei that I really like his suit.
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So your a chef?
Monica: I抦 also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Mischa: Oh, really.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Phoebe: Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I haven抰 been able to say two words to each other.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
Rachel: (jumping up to answer the phone) Hello!
Mark: Oh, hi. It抯 Mark.
Rachel: (disappointed) Oh.
Mark: What? Is it my breath?
Rachel: No! Sorry, I just thought you were somebody else. Hi!
Mark: Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isn抰 tonight your, your big anniversary dinner?
Rachel: Yeah. Well, umm.....
Mark: Rach, are you okay?
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Yeah, I抦 fine.
Mark: You wanna talk, I mean I can come over?
Rachel: No! Really, no, please, please, that抯, that抯 okay.
Mark: All right, all right, I抦 coming over, and I抦 bringing Chinese food.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I抦 not, I抦 not hungry.
Mark: It抯 for me.
Rachel: Oh. Okay, bye.
[Scene: The Philly.]
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Ross: Oh come on, we just had this huge fight, all right, don抰 I have to wait a while?
Chandler: Hey, this isn抰 like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!!
(Ross goes to call her.)
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
Joey: Yeah, tell that to my Uncle Lenny.
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Joey: Nothing, he抯 just really believes in that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I don抰 want to take a break.
Mark: Wow. I抦 sorry. Eggroll?
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasn抰 there.
Mark: Well, then he抯, he抯 probably just, out.
Rachel: Oh, thank you that抯 very helpful, I抦 glad you came over.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Hello.
Ross: Hi! It抯 me.
Rachel: Hi! Oh, I抦 so glad you called.
Ross: Really? I抳e been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don抰, don抰 you think we can work on this?
Mark: Hey, what do you want to drink?
Ross: Who抯 that?
Rachel: Nobody.
Mark: Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?
(Rachel mouths 慡hoot!?or something similar.)
Ross: Is that Mark?
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
[Cut to The Philly.]
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Chloe: Hey, dinosaur guy, look at you, so sad. Come dance.
Ross: Ah, that抯 okay, thanks.
Chloe: Hey, you don抰 have to smile. You just have to dance.
Ross: Look, I don抰 feel like dancing, I feel like having a drink. Okay?
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
[Scene: The Restaurant, after dinner.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you don抰 accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it.
(Sergei says something to Mischa.)
Mischa: (to Phoebe) Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight.
Phoebe: Well, tell him, apology accepted.
(Mischa does so.)
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, he抯 unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why don抰 you learn some English, Sergei?
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isn抰 he paying for your dinner?
Monica: Hey, the man抯 dog just died.
(Sergei insults Mischa, and they get into a huge fight, in Russian.)
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy can抰 even say coupons. (they leave)
Sergei: Uh, (picks up a plate) plate?
Phoebe: Plate! Yes, plate.
Sergei: Plate. Plate. Plate.
Phoebe: See, we don抰 need them.
Sergei: (picking up a cup) Plate?
Phoebe: Yeah.
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
Ross: (to Chloe) I like this song.
Chloe: Well, you抮e practically dancing already. Why don抰 you just do it over here?
Ross: Oh, no, no.
Chloe: What? Are you married? 慍ause that抯 okay.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Rachel: (picks up the phone and calls Ross) Oh, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home, be home. Be home. Be home, be home, be home. Oh, you抮e not home.
[Scene: The Philly, Ross is dancing with Chloe.]
Chloe: Still no smile?
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time.)
To Be Continued......
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: Central Perk, Sergei is teaching Phoebe how to sing American Pie, by Don Maclean.]
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Sergei: (singing) Touchet, touchet, Miss Americccan pie. (stops to correct Phoebe) Ameri-ccan.
Phoebe: Ameri-can.
Sergei: Ameri-ccan.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know it抯 a very hard language. Let抯 do it again.
(They start singing, and Phoebe covers her mouth at the American part.)
Sergei: (to the rest of Central Perk) Everybody!! (In his language, and continues.)
END
如果我把整罐橄榄吃光
你要给我多少钱?
我一块钱也不给
但你欠我两块九毛五
成交
我需要地图…
干嘛?
你要交报告?
我昨天在联合国外做免费按摩
认识一个外交官
我要跟他约会
我不知道他是哪个国家的人
先说你为什么要在联合国
做免费按摩服务
这是我的新目标，我认为平和的身体
可以缔造和平
你搞不好会得第一座诺贝尔按摩奖
这家伙是哪个国家的人?
里面有个“G”
这个国家在哪里?
在你的地图上
我没有地图
不过等等
我有地球仪，等一下
他是什么样的人?
他很……
有冲劲
而且非常练达
他不会讲英文
但他的翻译说
他对我意乱情迷
好，来了
这是什么?
地球仪
也是削铅笔机
有什么要影印的吗?
我要到影印店去
不用了，谢谢
随便给我什么拿去影印就好
如果你没有东西要影印干嘛要去?
你又要去看那个…
钉了肚脐环的女孩?
要一起去吗?
快，克萝伊先把你的顾客解决掉
快点，克萝伊…
要影印吗?
我们改变主意了
还需要时间考虑要影印什么
克萝伊，跟我换
有人迷上你了
好，真是伤人
我从早上就没看见你们了
这个嘛……
你知道……
你们明天有事吗?
我们两个?
也许吧，害怕了吗?
别紧张，艾塞克在菲力酒吧当DJ
你们应该来听听看
我们会的
太好了，到时候见
好啊，摇摇摇
他说和你散步，让他觉得
彷佛这个城就是他的家
我也是，虽然这里本来就是我家
我说的是蠢话
别跟他说是我说的
你自己乱盖吧
很好，谢谢
我家到了
你的眼睛好美
非常谢谢你
谢谢
他想吻你
你不必麻烦了
不，我不是说他不，
是你不必麻烦了
时机已经过了
就在这里
好小
对，但赛尔吉说
德军花了六星期
才横跨国境
你开心吗?
只可惜约会的时候…
虽然非常愉快
但他的翻译碍手碍脚
瑞秋在房间里吗?
她还没下班但叫你打电话给她
她又要放我鸽子了?
她怎么可以这样?
我们的周年纪念日怎么办?
我对这件事只知道这么多
“打电话给瑞秋”
底下是什么?
是我的涂鸦
戴高顶礼帽的瓢虫
很漂亮
嘿，亲爱的
嘿
怎么回事?
运货出了大问题
我得把这批货弄到
对不起，不过看样子
我要开通宵了
什么?
那我过来好不好?
不要，亲爱的，拜托
我要处理的事情太多了
反正我今晚要跟塞尔吉出去…
你能不能当翻译的女伴
这样我们想独处的时候
你们两个可以离开?
他长得挺帅的
你说挺帅的是真的很帅?
还是跟你的朋友泥浆背赖瑞一样帅?
别这样说他
他叫做泥浆背哈利
“中央咖啡厅”
我们该出发了
克萝伊说几点到?
十点半
现在几点
四点半
我们再等等好了
记得她提过我们三个人那回事吗?
记得很清楚
她是开玩笑的吧?
我想是的
我想也是
老天，如果今晚出现这种场面
那就太诡异了
对，我是说…
我们该怎么办?
我可不知道
她是开玩笑的
她是…
我们应该订下基本规则
以备不时之需
对，那当然
最重要的原则就是
“绝对不要张开眼睛”
因为最好不要在你
做什么的时候…
抬头一看，对不对?
看到你不想看的东西
说得好…
等等…
万一我的眼睛闭上以后
我的手在那里…
好，眼睛从头到晚都张开
我们怎么决定……
哪个人……
要在……
哪里?
对，你知道我们可以丢铜板决定
我想也是，不过头和字
分别代表什么?
如果连这个都不知道
我也不想跟你一起上了
不…
订单就在我面前
上面说我们订的里耶维拉此基尼
各种尺寸和颜色都有
这跟我穿什么有何相干?
可以请你的主管过来吗?
谢谢
嗨
我的天，你来干什么?
你说你不能出去，所以…
你带了野餐篮
真是个好男朋友
够了，星期一我要开始化妆
亲爱的，你很体贴
但我现在大难临头
但我现在小米当前
亲爱的，对不起
我知道今天是我们周年纪念
但我在电话上跟你说过
我没有时间停下来
你不必停下来
我是隐形人，看不到…
对，可是，我不…
是谁批准这批货的?
我们这里没有马克罗宾逊
打电话给马克
我喜欢马克，你认识他吗?
让我看看…
038不是本店的号码是亚特兰大的号码
胡椒?
我不用
好，对不起
对不起
我刚才说商店号码是错的
对不起，可是…
我的天
我待会儿再打给你
我这里一团乱
你这是干嘛？
对不起
但你电话讲完了
喝杯酒吧
围着炉火对饮
我可以再把火升起来
你没有听我说话
我没有空
你连十分钟都没有?
我连十分钟都没有
苏菲，她有十分钟时间吗?
我说过没有
别对我吼
我一个礼拜没见到你了
听好了，我现在没空理你
我的交货时间到了
回家去，我们回头再说
好，可是等一下…
再见
刚才那个是我们的三洞打孔机
嗨
刚才的事，
我完全了解
你的压力很大
我本来要给你机会向我道歉
为你把我赶出办公室而抱歉?
你没有权利到我办公室来
你不能带着野餐篮
到人家的办公室
除非这个人是公园管理员
原谅我只想在周年纪念日
跟女朋友在一起
老天，我真是混蛋
但我说过我没有时间
你一直都没时间
我觉得自己好像
根本没有女朋友
你是不是要我辞职…
好让你觉得自己有女朋友?
我只希望你了解这只是一份工作
只是一份工作?
这是我一生中第一次做
我觉得有意义的事
第一次发挥自己的专长
如果你不了解
我了解，也为你高兴
但我受够跟答录机谈恋爱
我不知道该怎么办
我也不知道
这是因为马克吗?
我的天
好，不是
我的老天爷
我不能老是跟你为同一件事情吵架
你让我受不了
我让你受不了?
你要我怎么做?
我不知道…
这样吧
也许我们应该冷静一下
很好，你说得对
我们冷静一下
我们去吃冷冻优格吧
我们分手吧
过去五年来在核对方面的进步…
我们进了一台X5000
有了X5000，
X50看起来就像X7
研究恐龙的人来了
嗨罗斯
嘿克萝伊
介绍你认识我的朋友
他是我的偶像
他要把东西放大四倍
我说我们不印，他说非印不可
结果呢?我们办到了
现在有人要放大四倍
我们就说“罗斯影印来罗”
而且只有一种颜色
克萝伊，你有铜板吗?
我要买保险套
你怎么回事?
今晚不是你的周年纪念日吗?
计划略为改变
我们打算分手
我会说一点法文
怎么了?
我说错了什么?
你刚才问我
今晚要不要跟你上床?
我的天
难怪我在莫立斯餐厅
得到这么好的服务
敲……
嗨，麻烦你告诉塞尔吉
我很欣赏…
布特洛斯布特洛斯盖里
在纽约时报写的文章
你没有说布特洛斯布特洛斯盖里
布特洛斯布特洛斯盖里
他说他也是
有意思
我在想…
趁你们还没开口说话
麻烦你告诉塞尔吉
我很喜欢他的西装
他说“谢谢你，你今晚很美”
您的秀发如阳光闪闪发亮
这么说你是个厨师?
我打算自己开一间餐厅
真的？
跟你说几句悄悄话好吗?
你这是干什么?
我在聊天啊
米夏对你非常有意思
塞尔吉跟我根本说不上话
你要我安安静静地坐着
听你们三个人说话?
那太好了，谢谢你
嗨，我是马克
怎么?
我有口臭吗?
对不起，我以为是别人打来的
我只是打来留话的
今晚不是你的周年纪念日吗?
瑞秋?你没事吧?
我没事
你想聊聊吗?
我可以过来
真的不必了，没关系
好，我带中国菜过来
我不饿
是我要吃的
再见
你打算怎么办?我能怎么办?
对方想分手，就只能分手了
才不是这么回事你是男人，
打电话去和好
我们刚刚才大吵一架
不用先等一段时间吗?
又不是刚吃完饭不能游泳，去打电话
你知道吃完饭不能游泳
其实是个迷思
去跟我蓝尼叔叔说吧
为什么?他怎么了?
没有怎么了只不过
他非常相信这回事
然后我们大吵一架，弄得很僵
我说他把我当公园管理员什么的
然后……
我告诉他我想冷静一下
我不想分开
我真替你难过
蛋卷?
然后我打电话给他
他不在家
他大概只是出去了
谢谢你，你说的话好有用
你来了可真好
嗨，是我
你打来就好了
真的？
这太荒谬了，你不觉得
我们可以沟通吗?
你想喝什么?
那是谁?
没有人
我可以把苹果汁喝光吗?
那是马克吗?
亲爱的，他只是过来…
好，我懂了
嘿，恐龙先生
看看你，好伤心
来跳舞吧
没关系，谢谢你
你不必笑只要跳舞就好了
我不想跳舞我想喝酒，好吗?
两杯啤酒
兽医跟我说时候到了
我在地球的另一端
我母亲把电话拿到它耳朵旁边
我用七种语言…
跟我的狗说再见
给我一张面纸好吗?没问题
希望你不会不小心…
吸进鼻子里呛死
塞尔吉为我今晚的言行道歉
跟他说“我接受他的道歉”
真没想到，这么多年来
第一次有人想跟我说话
但你想他会让我这么好过吗？
当然不会
你这个笨外交官为什么自己不学英文?
对不起，你的晚餐不是他付帐的吗?
人家的狗才刚过世
我辞职了
你愿不愿意陪我到彩虹厅?
我有外交官折价券
这是我的荣幸
我的男伴有折价券
你的男伴连“折价券”都不会讲
盘子
盘子，对，盘子
看，我们不需要他们
我喜欢这首歌
你等于已经在跳舞了
不如到这里来跳吧?
你是有妇之夫，是吧?
因为这也无所谓
在家……
你不在家
还是不笑?
美国派小姐
美国……
这种语言很难学
再来一次